Machine Learning Orders A Drink

The time traveler has been spotted! ChatGPT launched in 2022, but apparently Courage was the beta tester back in '96. That old computer wasn't running Python or JavaScript—it was running pure anxiety. The irony of a "cowardly" dog secretly being the first AI prompt engineer is just *chef's kiss*. Developers today think they're revolutionary for asking an AI to write their regex, meanwhile Courage was probably using it to generate excuses for Eustace about why the farm's network was down again.

Everyone's terrified of superintelligent AI destroying humanity, meanwhile actual AI is just slapping "-uary" onto every month like a sleep-deprived intern. "Maruary" and "Apruary" sound like months from a parallel universe where calendars were designed by a five-year-old. The real existential threat isn't Skynet—it's spreadsheets with months that sound like they were named after drinking too much eggnog. If this is the AI revolution, we can probably hold off on building those bunkers.

Nvidia's gone from "graphics card company" to "AI overlord" so fast that gamers are getting dumped like last year's Steam sale impulse buys. Remember when GPUs were for rendering Skyrim mods? Now they're calculating the probability of human extinction while costing more than your first car. The relationship status between gamers and Nvidia has officially changed to "it's complicated" – or rather, "it's computing" the next trillion-parameter model. Your RTX 4090 isn't rendering Cyberpunk anymore; it's rendering humanity obsolete.

The Grim Reaper of programming trends is making his rounds! First, he slaughtered Visual Programming (drag-and-drop interfaces), then butchered No-Code platforms (the "anyone can code" fantasy), and now he's knocking on "Vibe Coding" – whatever the hell that is. Probably some AI-generated garbage where you just describe your mood and it spits out broken code. Meanwhile, actual programmers are just watching this parade of buzzwords die one by one. The industry keeps trying to "disrupt" us out of jobs, but can't even get past "Hello World" without a stack overflow and three existential crises. Spoiler alert: The next door is "Quantum Emotional Programming" where your code only works if you're feeling particularly anxious on a Tuesday.

JavaScript: the caffeinated workhorse pouring itself into literally everything these days. Remember when we thought it was just for making annoying popup alerts? Now it's feeding the entire tech ecosystem like some kind of mandatory office coffee machine. Frontend, backend, mobile, desktop, and even ML engineers are all drinking from the same pot whether they want to or not. The ultimate "write once, run everywhere" language finally happened, and it's the one we used to make fun of. The universe has a sick sense of humor.

The tech industry's attention span in one image. Remember when everyone was frantically building metaverse platforms? Yeah, me neither. Now it's all AI this, AI that, while metaverse sits in the corner wondering where all its venture capital went. The tech world just ghosted an entire digital universe for a chatbot that occasionally hallucinates facts about Napoleon. Silicon Valley relationships are more fickle than npm dependencies.