I Found A Job (That Costs $500 A Week)

When your resume says "Expert in Python, Java, and 10 other languages" but the HR algorithm only picked up "fluent in English." The team leader is all excited about your "perfectly skilled" profile while HR is just happy they found someone who can understand the company lunch menu. This is why we can't have nice things in tech recruitment. Those fancy AI-powered resume parsers that companies spend thousands on? Yeah, they're basically just CTRL+F with a business suit on. Meanwhile, qualified candidates walk right past because their resume didn't include the sacred keyword "synergy" exactly 7 times.

The evolutionary scale of debugging techniques laid bare! At the top, we have the panicked screaming of devs using StackOverflow and ChatGPT - frantically searching for someone else who's encountered their exact error message. But then there's that rare specimen - the dev who calmly reads official documentation to solve problems. The absolute madlad sitting there with a smug grin, methodically understanding the system instead of copy-pasting random solutions. It's like finding a unicorn in the wild. Who actually reads the manual? Next you'll tell me they write comprehensive comments and follow naming conventions too!

OH. MY. GOD. The IDE is not just highlighting the error—it's offering to FIX IT WITH AI! 💀 This is the digital equivalent of handing a junior dev the keys to production and saying "whatever happens, happens!" The computer is literally telling us "children doesn't exist" and then offering to write our code FOR US. Excuse me while I update my LinkedIn profile to "Former Developer" because if AI can debug React props, what am I even doing with my life?! Next thing you know, it'll be writing passive-aggressive comments about my variable naming conventions!

Ah, the elusive "Vibe Coding" methodology — where you simply feel your way through the development process until everything magically works. This 4chan-style greentext perfectly captures the delusional fever dream of every desperate developer at 3AM: "What if I just... stop fixing things properly and let the universe sort it out?" The progression is just *chef's kiss*: from "code breaks" to "automate refactoring" (translation: let AI fix my mess) to the magnificent fantasy of "issues solve themselves" — because obviously, bugs are sentient and will commit suicide if ignored long enough. And that final line? "Everyone gets an individualized copy" is just corporate-speak for "it's not my fault if it explodes on their specific machine." Whoever made this clearly had a traumatic deadline experience and is now permanently damaged. Welcome to the club.

Ah, the modern developer's workflow. Empty try block, followed by a catch that just calls OpenAI to fix whatever broke. Why debug your own code when you can outsource your incompetence to an AI? Next up: a ChatGPT plugin that automatically adds this snippet to all your repositories. Efficiency through surrender.

ChatGPT's confidence is inversely proportional to the likelihood of its code actually working. Nothing screams "hidden runtime exception" quite like "thoroughly refined, rigorously tested, and fully stable." The skeptical face says it all—that code is about to crash your production server faster than you can say "but it worked on my machine." The only thing more reliable than AI-generated bugs is the human suspicion they inspire.