Full Stack Fettuccine

Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob keeping track of exactly how long we've gone without some AI-generated hallucination, bizarre prompt injection, or GitHub Copilot suggesting a security vulnerability as a "best practice." The counter remains stubbornly at zero, much like those workplace "days without an accident" signs that never make it past single digits. Just another Tuesday in the brave new world where we've all become unwitting QA testers for neural networks with confidence issues.

Content You're the new tech lead nOW I'm getting paid like one too, right? @SeniorDeveloper I'm going to be paid like a tech lead too, right?

The AUDACITY of modern development! Start a project with METICULOUS DETAIL and PAINSTAKING EFFORT—just to abandon it halfway through and let some AI finish the job with stick figures! 💀 It's the coding equivalent of making a gourmet meal and then asking your toddler to plate it. We begin with such GRAND AMBITIONS only to hit that third milestone and suddenly it's "dear ChatGPT, please fix my spaghetti code." The horse doesn't lie—we're all just one deadline away from sacrificing our artistic integrity for a quick fix!

First panel: AI reaching for a beautiful painting on the wall, representing our dreams of intelligent systems creating magnificent art. Second panel: Reality hits with a wall of if(){} statements. That's right folks, behind the curtain of every "AI" product your CEO is hyping up is just a glorified chain of conditional logic some poor dev had to write at 1 AM while questioning their career choices. Seven years of computer science education to write if(user_says_hello) return "Hello there!" but with better variable names.

Ah, the modern tech hero's journey: "I wrote a prompt, AI generated an API, and now I'm basically the next unicorn founder." Sure buddy, and I once wrote a regex that worked on the first try – doesn't mean I'm Jeff Bezos. The gap between "my AI prompt worked once" and "billion-dollar company" is roughly the same as the gap between "I installed Linux" and "I now run NASA." Those compute bills will hit harder than the reality that prompt engineering isn't the same as actually engineering. Ten years in the trenches and I've learned one truth: the harder someone humble-brags about how easy something was, the more spectacularly it'll explode in production.

Someone asked ChatGPT about JavaScript's export default App; syntax and got the most refreshingly honest AI response ever: "I honestly have no idea." Finally, an AI that admits defeat instead of confidently hallucinating some nonsensical explanation about React components! If only my junior devs had this level of self-awareness instead of copy-pasting Stack Overflow answers they don't understand. The robots might replace us, but at least they'll be upfront about their limitations.