Standup Memes

Posts tagged with Standup

The Dreaded Afternoon Standup Trap
Agile Programming
3 days ago 131.7K views 0 shares
The Dreaded Afternoon Standup Trap
That face when your brain has been context-switching all day between 17 different tasks, and then someone moves the standup to 4PM. Now you're stuck in that weird limbo where starting anything new feels pointless because "the meeting is coming," but it's still hours away. Just sitting there, refreshing Slack, pretending to work while your productivity slowly evaporates into the void. The cherry on top? You'll definitely forget what you actually did today when it's your turn to speak.

Occasional Bouts Of Kubernetes Mania
Kubernetes Devops Docker Programming Cloud
7 days ago 123.1K views 0 shares
Occasional Bouts Of Kubernetes Mania
That one engineer who's been watching too many YouTube tutorials and suddenly thinks they can reinvent Google's infrastructure during a 15-minute standup. The rest of us are just trying to fix our YAML indentation errors while this hero wants to build Kubernetes from scratch. Sure buddy, we'll get right on that after we finish untangling the mess from your last "revolutionary" Docker compose file that somehow mapped every port to localhost:3000.

Occasional Bouts Of Kubernetes Mania
Kubernetes Devops Docker Programming Cloud
8 days ago 163.7K views 0 shares
Occasional Bouts Of Kubernetes Mania
That special moment when you've convinced yourself that rebuilding Kubernetes from scratch is a perfectly reasonable use of company time. Meanwhile, your coworkers are staring at you with that unique blend of horror and fascination reserved for watching someone volunteer to dig their own grave with a spoon. Building K8s from scratch during standup is the DevOps equivalent of saying "I think I'll climb Everest this weekend" while wearing flip-flops.

Stand Up Means Urgent Bathroom Visit
Agile Programming
9 days ago 135.2K views 0 shares
Stand Up Means Urgent Bathroom Visit
Nothing triggers your bowels quite like the phrase "stand-up is starting." Your body, previously content with coding for hours, suddenly realizes it's about to be trapped in a meeting where you'll have to explain why that "quick fix" is taking three days. The cosmic timing of your digestive system is truly remarkable—it waits precisely until the Slack notification pings to remind you that nature's call is non-negotiable and definitely not something you can "circle back to later."

What Was That Last-Minute Question
Agile Programming Databases
10 days ago 191.1K views 0 shares
What Was That Last-Minute Question
That moment of pure existential dread when freedom was within reach, but Dave from QA just had to bring up "one quick thing" about the database schema. Now you're trapped for another 45 minutes while everyone rehashes the entire sprint planning meeting you already had on Tuesday. Your weekend plans slowly dissolving before your eyes as someone unmutes just to say "sorry, I was on mute."

Your Average Meeting
AI Devops Agile Programming
25 days ago 174.4K views 0 shares
Your Average Meeting
AI has finally solved the greatest mystery in corporate history: what actually happens in meetings. Turns out it's just "disjointed, rambling conversation" with "no clear purpose or agenda." Revolutionary discovery! Next up: AI discovers water is wet. The best part? We spent an hour discussing "unclear technical concepts" only to have a robot tell us we accomplished absolutely nothing. At least now we have timestamps to prove exactly how long we wasted our lives. Remember when we used to pretend meetings were productive? Now Slack AI is calling us out with receipts. Progress!

Desk Accessories (affiliate)

PAMO Cable Management Under Desk for Easy mounting Under-Table I Set of 2 - with 10X Cable Ties I Desk Organizer for Office/Home Office Table Thoughtful Cable Tray Holder
PAMO Cable Management Under Desk for Easy mount...
YEELIGHT Monitor Light Bar, Computer Monitor Lamp, 250LM No Glare Eye-Care LED Screen Bar, Touch Control USB Reading Desk Lamp for Home Office Work, Stepless Dimming Adjustable Color Temperature
YEELIGHT Monitor Light Bar, Computer Monitor La...
HyperX Wrist Rest - Full Sized - Cooling Gel - Memory Foam - Anti-Slip - Ergonomic - Keyboard Accessory, Black
HyperX Wrist Rest - Full Sized - Cooling Gel - ...

They Think They Are Doing It Right
Agile Devops Programming
1 month ago 146.2K views 0 shares
They Think They Are Doing It Right
That suspicious feeling when your "agile" manager schedules the fifth standup of the week to "check on your progress." Sure, the Scrum board says we're doing sprints, but somehow we're also doing daily code reviews, hourly updates, and mandatory "quick sync" meetings that last 2 hours. Nothing says "I trust my developers" like asking for a detailed breakdown of how you spent each 15-minute block of your day. The best part? They'll call it "removing impediments" while being the biggest impediment themselves.

They Are Rare
Agile Devops Programming
1 month ago 246.4K views 0 shares
They Are Rare
A daily standup meeting that doesn't turn into a 45-minute therapy session? Might as well have spotted Bigfoot. The image captures that mythical moment when a team experiences the euphoria of finishing a standup on time - an event so rare that developers react like they've just won the lottery without buying a ticket. Most standups start with "I'll be quick" and end with someone's detailed explanation of their Git merge strategy while everyone silently contemplates career changes.

Useful Standup Meetings: The Developer's Dragon
Agile Devops Programming
2 months ago 125.9K views 0 shares
Useful Standup Meetings: The Developer's Dragon
Just like Santa promising dragons, managers promising "productive standups" are selling fantasy. The moment you think they'll finally cut the 45-minute status theater where Dave drones about his JIRA tickets, they hit you with "what color do you want your dragon?" – asking about irrelevant details of a project that'll never see the light of day. The only thing more mythical than dragons is a standup that actually stays standing.

No Be Better
Agile Devops Programming
2 months ago 163.1K views 0 shares
No Be Better
DENIED ENTRY TO HEAVEN FOR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY: taking more than 5 minutes in daily stand-ups! 💀 St. Peter is LITERALLY keeping receipts at the pearly gates! That 15-minute "quick sync" where you droned on about your JIRA tickets for half an hour? STRAIGHT TO THE UNDERWORLD, SUSAN! Even eternal salvation has its limits, and apparently they're drawn at "just one more thing before we wrap up..."

Alphabetical Order: The Final Boss Of Daily Standups
Agile Programming
2 months ago 153.1K views 0 shares
Alphabetical Order: The Final Boss Of Daily Standups
The eternal curse of alphabetical order during standups! If your name starts with Y or Z, you're basically the Majin Buu of your dev team—forced to sit there menacingly as the hourglass of your patience drains while 23 other developers give their updates first. By the time it's your turn, half the team has mentally checked out, three people are secretly checking Slack, and you've had enough time to refactor your entire codebase in your head. The real power move? Legally changing your name to "AAaron" just to go first.

They Call Me Senior Dev
Agile Devops Programming
3 months ago 147.6K views 0 shares
They Call Me Senior Dev
The true mark of seniority isn't writing complex algorithms or architecting scalable systems—it's the art of staying silent during meetings that could've been emails. That awkward monkey face perfectly captures the existential crisis of realizing you're paid a small fortune to occasionally unmute and say "sounds good to me" or "I'll circle back offline." The real six-figure skill? Knowing when your input adds zero value but still collecting that direct deposit. Silent wisdom is apparently worth its weight in gold.