It's Not A Crash, It's A Happy Little Restart!

The classic illusion of choice in software installations! You're given two options - "Express Installation" which you reject because it sounds suspiciously like it'll install 17 toolbars and change your homepage. Then there's "Custom Installation" which you eagerly select to maintain control... only to discover it has exactly the same options as Express. It's like when you spend 10 minutes carefully configuring installation settings just to end up with the default configuration anyway. The software equivalent of asking "Do you want it my way or... also my way but with extra clicks?"

Ah, the digital equivalent of pulling the pin on a grenade and hugging it. This beautiful C# method finds every executable file on every drive in your system and launches them simultaneously. Perfect for when you want your computer to experience what it feels like to have a panic attack. The method name "LaunchAllExes" is just so refreshingly honest - like naming your self-destruct button "MakeEverythingExplode". Whoever wrote this probably also keeps their passwords in a file called "definitely_not_passwords.txt".

Visual Studio trying to convince us that "ass" is undefined when we all know it's the most well-defined part of the human anatomy. The IDE's prudish error checking is basically the digital equivalent of your grandma covering your eyes during movie kissing scenes. Nice try, Microsoft. We'll just rename it to "posterior" and pretend we're being professional.

The ultimate betrayal isn't cheating—it's actually paying for WinRAR. After years of clicking "maybe later" on that purchase prompt, someone finally cracked and spent $29 on software that's been essentially free since the dawn of computing. It's like finding out your partner has been secretly using Internet Explorer or still believes semicolons are optional in JavaScript. The relationship may never recover from this financial infidelity. Trust shattered faster than a poorly written recursive function.

Content Windows 10 now uses machine learning to stop updates installing when a PC is in use Machine learning to the rescue By Tom Warren tomwarren Jul 25, 2018, 5:57 pm EDT

Spent 15 years watching Windows get progressively hungrier for RAM while Linux just keeps chugging along efficiently. The buff Tom vs. beaten-up Tom meme perfectly captures it - 4GB on Linux? Absolutely jacked, ready to compile kernels and run servers without breaking a sweat. Meanwhile, Windows with 16GB is still gasping for air after opening Chrome and Outlook. Four times the RAM and Windows still struggles like it's running on a potato. Classic Microsoft bloat - where every "optimization" somehow requires more resources than the last version. And yet we keep paying for the privilege of watching that blue loading circle...