And Then You See 'Getting Windows Ready'

Content Bernie Berni Ber My son needs a laptop for school We only use Linux at home so I get him a System76 laptop with Pop!OS We do the unboxing together He installs Windows

Nothing triggers my selective hearing faster than a Linux evangelist launching into their sermon about how Windows is "basically spyware" and macOS is "just a pretty jail cell." Look, I've compiled my kernel from scratch too, but some battles just aren't worth fighting. The moment someone starts ranting about their Arch installation or how they've optimized their Vim config, I'm suddenly very interested in the fascinating art of pretending to be asleep. Self-preservation isn't just for operating systems—it's for sanity too.

Just another Tuesday. Your computer's installation wizard crashes and suddenly you're the chosen one tasked with defeating the evil software sorcerer. The error message "The Wizard must be stopped" transforms a mundane technical problem into an epic RPG quest. Next thing you know, you'll be grinding for XP by restarting your machine 50 times and battling the final boss: Windows Update.

Ah, the classic corporate tech hostage situation. You're hired as a developer, yet somehow expected to code with nothing but Notepad and prayers. The IT department—those mystical gatekeepers of admin privileges—stand between you and basic functionality like Docker, VS Code, and PostgreSQL. Meanwhile, you're sitting there like a carpenter who's been handed a banana instead of a hammer, screaming internally "I HAVE TO HAVE MY TOOLS!!!" while submitting your 17th ticket to install npm. Nothing quite captures the absurdity of modern software development like needing permission to do the job they're paying you for. Fun fact: The average developer spends approximately 84 years of their career waiting for IT to approve software installations. I might have made that up, but it certainly feels true.

Going to prison in 2009: GTX 480 was cutting edge. Coming back in 2023: "DLSS? Ray tracing? 40-series? Is this even the same planet?" The hardware acceleration gap hits harder than prison food. At least in jail you expect to get stabbed - graphics card prices these days are the real crime.

Oh, the ABSOLUTE TORTURE of modern computing choices! 💻 Homer's journey through the five stages of tech grief is PAINFULLY real! Faced with the Sophie's choice of our generation - upgrading to Windows 11 or *gasp* learning Linux - Homer's soul visibly leaves his body! The dramatic internal struggle! The existential dread! And then... the inevitable surrender to Microsoft's empire. Because let's be honest, who has the emotional bandwidth to learn terminal commands when you just want your computer to work?! The path of least resistance wins again, you beautiful, lazy disaster. I've never felt so seen in my LIFE.