Your Session Has Expired (And So Has Your Will To Live)

That ambitious learning roadmap you made when starting out? Pure fantasy. Three years later and you're still trying to figure out why your promise chain is returning undefined. The JavaScript rabbit hole has no bottom - just increasingly bizarre ways to shoot yourself in the foot. Meanwhile, those other languages you planned to learn are collecting dust in your bookmarks folder labeled "Weekend Projects" since 2019.

You know someone's coding purely on vibes when they start sprinkling emojis into their codebase like it's a text message to their bestie. Nothing screams "I have no idea what I'm doing but I'm having fun" quite like a `// TODO: fix this later 😅` comment or a variable named `isValid✅`. These are the developers who treat their IDE like a social media app, adding 🚀 to deployment scripts and 💀 next to buggy functions. Sure, your code might fail in production, but at least it'll fail with personality. The technical debt is real, but the aesthetic? *Chef's kiss* 👨‍🍳💋

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of this burn! 🔥 Full-stack developers are basically the theater kids of programming who proudly announce they can do EVERYTHING while secretly being mediocre at EVERYTHING. It's like claiming you're bilingual because you can say "hello" and "bathroom" in seven languages. The jack of all trades, master of absolutely none! That resume might say "full-stack" but what it really means is "I've watched tutorials for both React AND MongoDB." Diversifying your incompetence isn't a skill, honey!

The cosmic irony of a company rejecting PDF resumes for a Full Stack Developer position is just *chef's kiss*. They want someone who can handle complex distributed systems, containerized microservices, and cross-browser compatibility... but their upload form can't process the most universal document format since the invention of paper. Next they'll ask you to whiteboard the solution to their PDF parsing problem during the interview you'll never get to schedule.

The eternal cycle of developer enthusiasm. Top frame: joyfully playing with the shiny new project while completely ignoring last week's project drowning right next to you. Bottom frame: your GitHub graveyard—a haunting underwater boneyard of abandoned repositories that will never see a commit again. The real horror isn't the code quality; it's the commitment issues.

The eternal programmer journey in one graph! First, you install Node.js and suddenly you're a "full-stack developer" conquering Mount Stupid with unearned confidence. Then reality hits—your app crashes in production, your dependencies break, and you discover there are 47 JavaScript frameworks you've never heard of. Welcome to the Valley of Despair! Eventually, you start climbing that Slope of Enlightenment, learning that semicolons aren't optional (fight me), and that StackOverflow isn't just a website but a lifestyle. If you survive long enough, you might reach the Plateau of Sustainability, where you finally admit that no one—absolutely no one—understands webpack configs.