Your Session Has Expired (And So Has Your Will To Live)

The aristocracy of web development has arrived! TypeScript developers looking down their noses at JavaScript peasants with that perfect mix of pity and disgust. Nothing says "I'm better than you" quite like strong typing and compile-time error checking. Meanwhile, JavaScript developers are out there living dangerously with their undefined is not a function errors, like savages without powdered wigs. The TypeScript nobility wouldn't dare touch code that doesn't explicitly declare its intentions - how barbaric!

The classic "Epic Handshake" meme gets a deliciously ironic twist here. On one side, we have the noble summer job warrior, barely putting in effort at the fulfillment center. On the other, the valiant frontend developer, creating pixel-perfect UI while ignoring best practices. Both united in the sacred art of "loading packages lazily" - which is either slacking off at work or using lazy loading in code, depending on which arm you're looking at. The duality of half-assery creating one magnificent whole-ass disaster. It's the beautiful union of two completely different worlds reaching the exact same mediocre outcome through entirely different means.

The self-proclaimed "open source contributor" who created exactly one Hello World repository and now acts like they're Linus Torvalds at a dinner party. Nothing screams "expert developer" quite like pushing six lines of code that print text to a console and then mansplaining the importance of community-driven software development. The audacity of these GitHub tourists thinking their profile deserves a resume section is just *chef's kiss* peak coding culture.

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of this burn! 🔥 Full-stack developers are basically the theater kids of programming who proudly announce they can do EVERYTHING while secretly being mediocre at EVERYTHING. It's like claiming you're bilingual because you can say "hello" and "bathroom" in seven languages. The jack of all trades, master of absolutely none! That resume might say "full-stack" but what it really means is "I've watched tutorials for both React AND MongoDB." Diversifying your incompetence isn't a skill, honey!

The job market for programmers in a nutshell! Everyone's turning down opportunities until someone mentions PHP, and suddenly there's a disturbance in the force. That desperate "for PHP" reveal is the programming equivalent of saying you need someone to clean portable toilets at a music festival. Suddenly the room goes silent, lightning strikes, and the only person left is that one dev who hasn't updated their resume since 2006. The rest of us would rather code on a typewriter than touch that legacy spaghetti monster.

Standing on the shoulders of giants... while pretending you're levitating. The entire software industry is just us importing someone else's npm package, adding three lines of code, and then strutting around like we've invented electricity. Meanwhile, the real heroes who solved P=NP are buried in some GitHub repo with 2 stars. The best part? We all know it, yet tomorrow we'll npm install another solution and feel like technological wizards for implementing a toggle button.