The Illusion Of Black Friday Savings

JavaScript developers evolving their Promise syntax like it's Pokémon. First there was .convertToPromise() which nobody remembers using. Then came .makePromise() , the awkward teenage phase. But .promisify() ? That's the good stuff that makes developers bare their teeth in that special "I finally found the right utility function after 3 hours of Stack Overflow" grin.

Ah yes, academic literature—where JavaScript and Java are basically the same thing. Nothing says "I've thoroughly researched programming" like casually dropping "(or Java)" as if they're interchangeable aliases. That's like saying "I'll drive my Ferrari (or bicycle)" to work today. This is the same energy as textbooks claiming HTML is a programming language or that "the hacker known as 4chan" is a person. No wonder Stack Overflow exists—it's to recover from the brain damage caused by reading these educational masterpieces.

Signing up for GitHub before learning Git is like being handed a weapon you have no idea how to operate. You're just standing there with this powerful tool, completely clueless about commits, branches, or pull requests. Meanwhile, seasoned devs are watching you fumble around the interface wondering why you can't just "upload" your code directly. The classic rookie move of thinking GitHub = Git, only to discover there's this whole command line beast you need to tame first!

Five of these panels show the typical innovation S-curve where technology evolves from primitive (MS-DOS, Internet Explorer) to peak performance (Windows 95, Chrome). Then there's music... where we apparently peaked at Napster and it's been downhill ever since. The real innovation was clearly the ability to download entire discographies without paying a cent. Progress isn't always what corporate overlords want you to believe it is.

The slow, inevitable death of PHP at the hands of Python frameworks is basically a tech horror story at this point. First Python just hangs around, then it starts nibbling at PHP's market share, then it's consuming half the elephant, and finally—BOOM—Python-Django has completely devoured the poor beast and evolved into its final form. The circle of life in web development. Pour one out for PHP, which will somehow still be running on 79% of the internet in 2035.

HOLD THE PHONE! You mean to tell me people are ACTUALLY writing code while listening to lo-fi beats and calling themselves "vibe coders"?! I've been sitting here thinking it was just another ironic programming meme, but APPARENTLY there's an entire subculture of developers who code exclusively in a state of aesthetic bliss! Next you'll tell me "rage-driven development" is a legitimate methodology and not just what happens when I've been debugging the same issue for seven straight hours! The absolute AUDACITY of people enjoying their programming experience instead of suffering like the rest of us!