The Illusion Of Black Friday Savings

Browsing a site that collects leaked API keys, feeling all smug and superior... until that horrifying moment when you spot your own credentials in the list. Nothing humbles a developer faster than realizing you're the very security disaster you've been laughing at. Pro tip: rotate those keys before posting screenshots on Stack Overflow, genius!

Start 'em young, they said. Gotta love those job listings demanding a decade of experience with technologies that have only existed for five years. This baby's already behind schedule! Should've mastered React in the womb and deployed a blockchain solution during naptime. At this rate, the poor kid will only have 18 years of experience by 20 - clearly unemployable by industry standards. Next week: "Python for Fetuses" and "Docker Containerization Before You Can Walk."

Remember when we thought scrolling text was the pinnacle of web design? The <marquee> tag was the 90s equivalent of today's fancy animations – except it was basically just text having a seizure across your screen. We'd slap that bad boy on every element, add some neon text, maybe throw in a few animated GIFs of construction workers, and boom – suddenly we were "web developers." The digital equivalent of putting flame decals on a car to make it go faster. Those college websites with black backgrounds, rainbow text, and that sweet, sweet scrolling marquee... we really thought we were revolutionizing the internet. And now we argue about React state management while silently judging each other's CSS.

Behold the accidental genius of setTimeout sorting! The code loops through an array and logs each value using setTimeout with the value itself as the delay. Since JavaScript's event loop processes timeouts in order of expiration, smaller numbers appear first in the console. Congratulations! You've invented the world's most inefficient sorting algorithm with O(max(array)) time complexity. The array magically appears sorted in the console, not because of any actual sorting logic, but because the browser's event scheduler is doing all the work. Somewhere, a computer science professor just felt a disturbance in the force.

OH. MY. GOD. This is the filthiest thing I've seen since someone used tabs instead of spaces! 💅 AgentPorn.ai isn't your average sketchy website - it's a DEVELOPER'S GUILTY PLEASURE with categories that make me CLUTCH MY PEARLS! "Zero Downtime"? "Wet Deployments"?? "BARELY LEGAL REGEX"??? 😱 The way they've turned mundane development tasks into suggestive clickbait is SENDING ME! And that "NSFW: Not Safe For Waterfall" warning? Honey, Agile developers are LIVING for this drama! The build success with "420/420" tests passed? That's not just code, that's a LIFESTYLE CHOICE! This is basically developer thirst traps but for people who get excited about CI/CD pipelines and perfect uptime metrics. I'm simultaneously horrified and bookmarking it.

The eternal war between actual programmers and HTML "programmers" claims another victim! This poor soul just committed the cardinal sin of web development—calling himself an "HTML programmer" to a software engineer dad. It's like telling a chef you're also a culinary expert because you can microwave a Hot Pocket. HTML is a markup language, not a programming language—a distinction that will get you ejected from any serious developer's house faster than a syntax error in production code. Dad's 10-second countdown is basically the human equivalent of a connection timeout. No exceptions will be caught here!