The Great Fried Egg Debate

Ah, the classic "if it's broken, just remove it" approach. Why fix a reversed scroll when you can just nuke the entire scrolling functionality? It's like responding to a flat tire by removing all the wheels. Problem solved... technically. No scroll, no scroll problems. Ship it.

THE AUDACITY of modern apps! 😱 While society warns us not to ask women their age or men their salary, the REAL taboo question is asking developers why their precious app now requires 4GB when it used to fit on a floppy disk! 💾 Apparently, adding seventeen new frameworks, fourteen analytics libraries, and enough JavaScript to sink a battleship is TOTALLY necessary to display "Hello World" these days. But heaven forbid you get one extra button! That's scheduled for next year's bloatware update! 🙄

When your parents named you "John" and now you can't even sign up for a developer account. Somewhere out there, a database administrator is smugly enforcing uniqueness constraints on first names like they're primary keys. Next thing you know, they'll be telling you your birthday has a foreign key violation because someone else already claimed December 25th.

The eternal frontend vs backend war continues! Frontend devs claim their job is harder while backend devs silently judge them. Then suddenly, the UX designer enters the chat and everyone runs for their lives. Nothing says "I've made a terrible career choice" quite like trying to center a div while simultaneously satisfying the designer who just had another "brilliant" idea involving parallax scrolling and microinteractions that "shouldn't be too hard to implement." The circle of blame is complete!

The AUDACITY of these people! 💅 First they're like "Can you render this file for me?" then have the NERVE to expect you to use YOUR precious server resources?! Honey, my server isn't running a charity drive for your computational laziness! The classic client-side vs server-side battle where everyone wants the fancy results but nobody wants to sacrifice THEIR precious CPU cycles. It's like asking someone to bake you a cake and then demanding they eat it too! The sheer DRAMA of web development relationships - first date: "Can I have this file?" second date: "Why aren't you doing ALL THE WORK?!"

Look at me ignoring that README file like it's my ex's text messages. We've all been there—excitedly diving into a shiny new library, completely bypassing the documentation because "how hard could it be?" Then two hours later, after fighting bizarre errors and contemplating a career change to goat farming, we're crawling back to that README with our tail between our legs. The documentation was there the whole time, patiently waiting for us to admit we're not as clever as we thought. It's the programming circle of life.