HTML: The Beetle In The Programming Zoo

The brutal truth of modern software development in one devastating punchline. We've become so dependent on frameworks and libraries that we've forgotten the fundamental skills. Building a browser from scratch? Might as well ask us to build a rocket to Mars using only a paperclip and some chewing gum. What makes this extra spicy is that it's coming from an older-generation programmer who actually remembers when people did build things from scratch. Meanwhile, the rest of us are over here struggling when npm is down for 5 minutes. The future date (2025) is just the cherry on top of this existential crisis sundae. The knowledge gap isn't getting better—it's getting worse.

Finally, a practical kitchen tool for when your API returns {} for the 47th time today. Just press it into your dough and boom—perfectly shaped emptiness, just like that response body you've been staring at for the past hour. The cookie cutter literally creates nothing but an outline, which is the most accurate representation of what you get when the backend "successfully" returns an empty object. Status 200, zero data, maximum confusion. At least now you can eat your frustration in cookie form. Pro tip: Pair these cookies with a nice cup of "why didn't they just return null" tea.

The great divide of coding culture in one perfect image. At the top, we have the polished, well-rested library users - looking like they actually shower and maintain healthy relationships. Meanwhile, down below lurk the library creators - sleep-deprived monsters surviving purely on caffeine and spite, with the thousand-yard stare of someone who's debugged pointer arithmetic at 4 AM for the fifth night in a row. It's the coding ecosystem's dirty secret: we're all standing on the shoulders of giants who haven't slept in three years. Next time you casually import a package, pour one out for the energy-drink-fueled gremlin who made it possible.

STOP EVERYTHING! The most accurate portrayal of full stack development I've ever witnessed! 😱 This poor child accidentally became the PERFECT metaphor for what happens when you're forced to know 37 frameworks, 12 languages, and still make it to stand-up by 9am! The disheveled hair! The dead-inside eyes! The formal attire that screams "I have a client meeting at 2 but need to debug a production issue at 1:59"! Truly the walking corpse that emerges after trying to figure out why your CSS works in Chrome but breaks in Safari while simultaneously setting up a database that refuses to connect for absolutely no logical reason whatsoever. Not a zombie—just a developer who's seen one too many merge conflicts!

GASP! The AUDACITY of having to accept that someone built the entire internet WITHOUT Stack Overflow, YouTube tutorials, or even a single "How to Build The Internet for Dummies" book! 💀 It's like finding out your parents walked 15 miles to school uphill BOTH WAYS—except this time it's actually TRUE! Those pioneer developers coded with ROCKS and STICKS while we have the NERVE to complain when our IDE takes 3 seconds to load. The sheer HUMILIATION!

Behold, the most compelling evidence that Internet Explorer was literally killing people. As IE's market share dropped from 2006 to 2011, so did the murder rate! This is what statisticians call "correlation without causation" - or what I call "the perfect excuse to uninstall IE from your grandparents' computer." Maybe people were just less murderous when they weren't waiting 45 seconds for a webpage to load. Or perhaps Firefox and Chrome were secretly running crime prevention programs in the background.