HTML Programmer Wins Turing Prize

Finally, a keyboard that matches my coding style! Just one giant tab key for those who believe proper indentation is the only thing that matters in code reviews. Who needs actual logic when your code looks good? Microsoft really understands that 90% of programming is just frantically hitting tab until your code aligns perfectly before the senior dev walks by your desk. The other 10% is Stack Overflow, obviously.

The four-stage grief cycle of programming: Write code with naive optimism Run it and watch your hopes evaporate Realize your code is a perfect mirror of your chaotic mind Curl up in fetal position as the existential dread sets in Ten years into my career and I still cycle through these stages at least twice before lunch. The only difference now is I keep tissues at my desk and my therapist on speed dial.

The eternal frontend struggle in three acts: Act 1: Your website and performance are perfectly balanced on the seesaw. Life is good. Act 2: "Let me just add this tiny CSS library that saves three lines of code." *Balance shifts slightly* Act 3: *500KB later* Your website is now crushing performance into the stratosphere while the hand of fate (probably your project manager) reaches in to fix the disaster. And this, friends, is why we can't have nice things in web development. Those "lightweight" libraries are the gateway drug to bundle bloat.

BEHOLD! The most accurate frontend development roadmap ever created! 🔥 First, you innocently learn some HTML thinking "how hard could this be?" Then BAM! Your forehead meets desk as you discover that centering a div is apparently rocket science. You crawl back to learn CSS, only to spiral into an existential crisis wondering why you didn't become a farmer instead. The JavaScript part? That's where your soul actually leaves your body. And the BEST part? This glorious cycle of head-slamming and life-questioning becomes your daily ritual! Frontend development isn't a career—it's a commitment to professional self-torture with pretty UI as the consolation prize!

First frame: "Don't shoot! I am JS Developer" with hands up desperately trying to save himself. Second frame: "Explain promises" Third frame: "Shoot" The eternal struggle of JavaScript developers when cornered about explaining async concepts. Sure, they can write promises all day long, but ask them to actually explain how the hell that callback-escaping magic works under the hood, and suddenly taking a bullet seems like the easier option. The callback hell they were trying to escape just became an interrogation hell instead.

The eternal web dev holy war, SpongeBob style! Patrick innocently asks if CSS is a programming language, only to be shut down by Squidward's technical pedantry that "it's a style sheet language." But Patrick, undeterred by such trivial distinctions, immediately follows up with "Isn't SQL a programming language?" — perfectly capturing how these debates never end. The real joke? The people who get most worked up about these classifications are usually the same ones who can't center a div without StackOverflow. Next up on Patrick's list: "Is HTML a programming language?" *Squidward has left the chat*