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So you're telling me my password needs 20 characters, uppercase, lowercase, a number, special characters, a kanji, a hieroglyph, the 100th digit of pi, AND the first codon of my DNA... but sure, let me just click "Sign up with Google" instead. Security theater at its finest. They make you jump through hoops like you're protecting nuclear launch codes when you're just trying to sign up for a random SaaS tool you'll forget about in two weeks. Meanwhile, they'll probably store it in plaintext anyway. The real kicker? That "Sign up with Google" button that makes all those requirements completely pointless. Why even bother with the password field at this point?

Electron apps: where your simple to-do list needs 800MB of RAM because why optimize when you can just ship an entire Chromium browser with it? The developer confidently explains their revolutionary idea while someone from a timeline where RAM actually costs money arrives to stop this madness. But modern devs don't care—memory is cheap and abundant, so let's just bundle V8, Node.js, and the kitchen sink for that calculator app. Meanwhile, embedded systems engineers are weeping in a corner with their 64KB constraints.

When you're so exclusive even you can't attend your own conference! The "world's largest vibe coding conference" registration link (127.0.0.1:8080) is literally just localhost—meaning this conference only exists on the creator's own machine. It's like inviting everyone to a party at your house but giving them the address to their own homes instead. Pure developer trolling at its finest. Anyone who clicks that link is just going to see their own local development server (if they have one running on port 8080) or get a connection error. Networking fail or genius marketing strategy? You decide!

Ah, the classic "unpaid intern" bait-and-switch! Nothing says "we value your skills" quite like demanding 4+ years of React.js experience for an unpaid internship. The audacity of requiring 3+ years of front-end engineering AND React Native experience for someone who won't even get paid is just *chef's kiss* corporate delusion at its finest. Translation: "We want a senior developer willing to work for exposure and the vague possibility of maybe getting paid someday." Next they'll be asking for your kidney as a signing bonus.

Grandpa Simpson is basically every senior dev watching juniors slap flex justify-between items-center p-4 rounded-md shadow-lg on everything without understanding what a float is. The CSS purists are sitting on their tree stumps of righteousness while the rest of us are just trying to ship products without writing 200 lines of media queries. Yes, frameworks can be overkill, but have you tried centering a div without one? That's the real horror story.

Someone asks what language polyglot programmers dream in. First response: JavaScript. Second response delivers the killing blow: "He said dreams, not nightmares." JavaScript's type coercion, callback hell, and "undefined is not a function" errors have traumatized enough developers that it's apparently graduated from being a programming language to a sleep disorder. You know your language has issues when people need therapy just from reading [] + {} !== {} + [] . The brutal honesty here is chef's kiss. No elaborate roast needed—just a simple correction that cuts deeper than any stack trace.