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The eternal zombie of web development strikes again! PHP continues to shamble along despite countless "PHP is dead" articles published every year since approximately 2005. The language that powers 77% of all websites somehow persists through constant ridicule, security concerns, and syntactical oddities that would make any CS professor weep. Yet there it is, running WordPress, Facebook, and probably your company's legacy codebase that nobody wants to touch. Its survival skills are unmatched - like a cockroach after nuclear winter, PHP simply refuses to die.

Oh honey, the DRAMA of it all! First they came for the lumberjacks with their fancy chainsaws, then the construction workers with their excavators, even the plumbers with their PEX crimpers! And now? They're coming for US with their shiny AI logos that look like someone's sacred geometry tattoo gone wrong! 💀 Everyone's getting "obsoleted" by technology, but darling, have you SEEN what happens when AI tries to center a div? The machines might write code, but they'll never understand the existential dread of debugging someone else's uncommented spaghetti mess at 3AM while questioning your career choices!

OH MY GOSH, THIS IS TOO REAL! 😂 The holy trinity of coding: typing (the 10% when you're actually writing code), scrolling (through StackOverflow desperately hunting for solutions), and staring (at your screen for hours wondering why your perfectly logical code is giving you 47 errors). That last one hits different at 2AM when you've been debugging the same function for 3 hours straight and your coffee's gone cold! The truth nobody tells you in CS classes - coding is 90% looking confused!

The perfect embodiment of visiting r/ProgrammerHumor expecting to find sophisticated web development jokes, only to discover it's 90% "CSS bad" and "JavaScript weird" posts. That cat's face captures the exact moment of realization that what passes for "web dev humor" is just the same recycled jokes about centering divs and callback hell. The disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

Nobody cares what language your backend is written in. They only care if it's fast. Yet every Rust developer seems physically incapable of describing their code without using the phrase "blazingly fast" at least 47 times per conversation. The cult-like obsession with Rust's performance is matched only by the collective eye-rolling of everyone forced to listen to another sermon about zero-cost abstractions and memory safety.

Ah yes, the mythical "real programmer" – that elusive creature who apparently codes everything from scratch using nothing but pure brain power and cosmic vibes. Meanwhile, in reality, the rest of us mortals are over here frantically Googling syntax, copying from Stack Overflow, and begging AI to fix our broken code at 3 AM. The gatekeeping is strong with this one! Next thing you'll tell me "real programmers" only code on punchcards while standing barefoot in the snow, uphill both ways.