Vanilla Javascript Is Deprecated

IMAGINE THE UTOPIA WE WERE ROBBED OF! 😭 JavaScript, the language that powers 99% of the web, was infamously created by Brendan Eich in just 10 DAYS back in 1995. TEN. DAYS. The result? A language with more quirks than a cat café on catnip! One more day could have fixed the nightmare that is type coercion, the existential crisis of null vs undefined , and that absolute TRAVESTY where [] + [] equals an empty string but [] + {} is "[object Object]"! The audacity! Now we're all stuck patching this cosmic joke with TypeScript like putting designer bandaids on a coding catastrophe. Just ONE more day, Brendan! We could've had flying cars instead of framework fatigue!

The keyword async is just the cool nickname. The full legal name is "Asynchronous." But what's await 's formal identity? The question mark perfectly captures that existential crisis. It's like discovering your friend's birth certificate says "Jonathan" when you've been calling him "Jon" for years. Turns out await doesn't even have a long-form name—it just sits there... waiting... for promises to resolve while refusing to disclose its government name. Classic commitment issues.

Content Why someone would use as a first programming language: Python: For it's simple syntax Java: To learn basic computer science concepts C: See Java BASIC: They were in cryogenic storage since 1968 Bash: To make themselves feel productive Git: To actually, why would someone use Git as their FIRST language? HTML: To make themselves feel like a programmer CSS: To make themselves feel like a cooler programmer JavaScript: They have a really good idea for a website TypeScript: They have a REALLY good idea for a website Brainfuck: They want to gain new respect for Alan Turing C: Meth addict that needs the same speed from their language C: Cocaine addict that needs the same speed from their language Carbon: To get a head-start on the 10-year job requirement PHP: Masochism Fortran: Masochism but with a better paycheck Rust: Cult induction Microsoft Excel: To feel like a geek without being a programmer Game of Life: Ooh... pretty squares.

Perfect in every way... except for that pesky compilation process. TypeScript enthusiasts know the pain—you've found your dream language with static typing and modern features, but there's always that awkward moment when you have to wait for your code to transpile before it actually runs. It's like dating someone who's absolutely gorgeous but insists on putting on makeup for 20 minutes before leaving the house. Worth it? Probably. Mildly infuriating? Definitely. The irony is palpable—we adopted TypeScript to save time catching errors, yet here we are, watching build progress bars instead of actually coding. The "10 but needs a build step" joke perfectly captures that bittersweet relationship developers have with TypeScript: madly in love with its features while quietly resenting its compilation requirements.

The ULTIMATE toilet paper analogy for JavaScript's most DRAMATIC value types! 💀 Non-zero values? FULL ROLL. Plenty to work with! But then we descend into the TRAGIC TRILOGY: Zero? Just a sad little empty cardboard tube. Still EXISTS but utterly USELESS for its intended purpose! Null? Just a BARREN rod. Someone DELIBERATELY removed everything. The AUDACITY! Undefined? The ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL - not even a HINT of toilet paper ever being there! Just like when you try to access that property you SWORE you defined!

The ultimate dev hypocrisy journey! 🤣 Starts with Patrick boldly declaring "I WON'T USE C#. MICROSOFT IS EVIL" while sitting comfortably in his armchair of moral superiority. But then... the slippery slope begins! First TypeScript (also by Microsoft), then VSCode (Microsoft again!), then GitHub Copilot (guess who? MICROSOFT!), followed by npm package manager, LinkedIn (yep, Microsoft owns that too), and finally surrendering completely to GitHub (100% Microsoft-owned). It's the perfect representation of that developer who swears they'll never touch Microsoft products but ends up completely surrounded by them anyway. The cognitive dissonance is REAL! We're all just SpongeBob pretending we have principles while swimming in Microsoft's ocean! 💀