Vanilla Javascript Is Deprecated

The eternal battle between compilation time and coffee breaks! While we're all busy pretending to wait for C++ to compile so we can scroll Reddit, TypeScript/JavaScript devs are out here ruining the sacred tradition with their interpreted languages. The conspiracy board in the background perfectly represents the chaotic thought process of someone trying to justify why their build still needs 20 minutes in 2023. "But optimization takes time!" Yeah, and so does my third coffee, thank you very much.

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Ah, the elegant simplicity of String a versus the needlessly verbose let a: String . When TypeScript developers discover they've been writing 5 extra characters for absolutely no reason. It's like paying for premium gas when your car runs perfectly fine on regular. The bottom panel is basically every developer after discovering a more elegant syntax - pointing enthusiastically at efficiency while silently judging their past self for all that wasted typing. Your fingers thank you for their early retirement from unnecessary keystrokes.

The counter has been reset! The horrified expression says it all—a TypeScript evangelist witnessing the JavaScript framework apocalypse in real-time. That "#1 type safety fan" badge is basically the equivalent of bringing a calculator to a knife fight in the JS ecosystem. Every frontend dev knows the pain of walking into standup and hearing "So I found this cool new framework last night..." Zero days without a new framework is practically the natural state of JavaScript development—it's like trying to build a house while someone keeps changing what "walls" are.

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IMAGINE THE UTOPIA WE WERE ROBBED OF! 😭 JavaScript, the language that powers 99% of the web, was infamously created by Brendan Eich in just 10 DAYS back in 1995. TEN. DAYS. The result? A language with more quirks than a cat café on catnip! One more day could have fixed the nightmare that is type coercion, the existential crisis of null vs undefined , and that absolute TRAVESTY where [] + [] equals an empty string but [] + {} is "[object Object]"! The audacity! Now we're all stuck patching this cosmic joke with TypeScript like putting designer bandaids on a coding catastrophe. Just ONE more day, Brendan! We could've had flying cars instead of framework fatigue!