JavaScript Is One Person Language

Content I rProgrammerHumor JavaScript Teacher javascriptual When I worked at Google I saw this code: if (user.cookies.agreed) CollectData(user) else CollectData(user) 9:28 am 27 Jan 21 Twitter Web App 59 Retweets 33 Quote Tweets 201 Likes

Whoever wrote that textbook just committed the cardinal sin of programming: claiming JavaScript and Java are the same thing. It's like saying a submarine and a sandwich are the same because they both have "sub" in the name. The book author's confused expression is all of us reading documentation written by people who think HTML is a programming language. That highlighted line is the coding equivalent of saying "humans (or dolphins) are mammals."

You start your day thinking "I'll just tweak this button color real quick." Two hours later, you've somehow installed 47 dependencies, each one pulling in 200 more of its "friends," and your node_modules folder has achieved sentience and is now larger than the entire Windows operating system. That one "lightweight" color picker library? Yeah, it needed React, three different date formatters, and something called "left-pad-2-electric-boogaloo." Your project went from 50MB to 850MB, your build time tripled, and you're pretty sure one of those packages is just someone's cryptocurrency miner. But hey, the button is now #3B82F6 instead of #2563EB, so totally worth burning down the entire city for it.

The eternal struggle between doing things right and doing things that work. Instead of using parseInt() or Number() like a civilized developer, this mad genius is just removing the quotation marks with replaceAll() to convert a string to a number. It's the coding equivalent of using a hammer to screw in a lightbulb - horrifying yet somehow it works. The face on the left is every senior dev witnessing this crime against programming humanity, while the face on the right is the junior who's just proud they "solved" the problem without reading the docs.

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