JavaScript Is One Person Language

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The AUDACITY of these people! 💅 First they're like "Can you render this file for me?" then have the NERVE to expect you to use YOUR precious server resources?! Honey, my server isn't running a charity drive for your computational laziness! The classic client-side vs server-side battle where everyone wants the fancy results but nobody wants to sacrifice THEIR precious CPU cycles. It's like asking someone to bake you a cake and then demanding they eat it too! The sheer DRAMA of web development relationships - first date: "Can I have this file?" second date: "Why aren't you doing ALL THE WORK?!"

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The floating-point rebellion we never knew we needed! This is basically every numerical computation specialist screaming into the void about IEEE 754's dark secrets. That beautiful moment when 0.1 + 0.2 != 0.3 and your financial calculations are suddenly off by millions. The binary representation at the bottom is the computer's way of saying "I'm doing my best with the bits you gave me!" And that ternary operator nightmare at the end? Pure assembly-level wizardry that makes checking if a float is valid look like someone had a seizure on the keyboard. No wonder embedded systems developers have trust issues. Meanwhile, integer purists sit in the corner smugly whispering "I told you so" while clutching their fixed-point implementations.

When someone asks if you know any programming paradigm beyond OOP, and your brain immediately goes to "FU"... which conveniently stands for "Functional Programming." The perfect accidental programmer comeback! After 15 years of watching junior devs make everything an object, I've learned that sometimes the best answer to "how should we architect this?" is indeed just "FU." Pure functions, no side effects, and immutability - it's like telling your stateful code to take a hike.