Who Uses TDD Anyway

Content DevOps Dan scripticles 3s IF everything I am hearing about Twitter is true and IF Twitter engineers are leaving en masse, then every developer out there should be praying that Twitter crashes within days ( 13 ) 1 17 DevOps Dan scripticles 1s If there is no significant system interruption at Twitter after their staff gets Thanos'd, it will spell bad news for every other engineering department across the globe because the executive are paying attention to what is happening here. (23) 17 DevOps Dan scripticles 1s If Twitter can survive with a fraction of their workforce, so can we, every other software company CEO will start to think. And the grasshoppers will start firing the ants. (33) 17

Grammar lessons were never this practical in school. This chart perfectly captures the inevitable relationship between developers and production environments - a timeline of chaos told through English tenses. The brutal honesty here is what gets me. "I break prod every Friday" isn't a possibility - it's a simple present fact of life. And that perfect continuous future tense? Chef's kiss. Nothing quite captures the existential dread of knowing you'll have been breaking prod for two hours by the time your boss discovers it. The cat's worried expressions gradually intensifying across the grid is the silent scream of every developer who's ever frantically searched Stack Overflow while production burns.

The eternal programmer paradox: screaming at your own creation. The white creature labeled "DEV" is questioning its own code like an exasperated parent: "I wrote you and checked you out. Why aren't you working?" Meanwhile, the dark creature labeled "GAME" is just smugly sitting there, proudly spawning "ERROR" babies everywhere. It's the digital equivalent of stepping on a Lego you placed there yourself. The signature "DN MAN :)" is just the cherry on top of this self-inflicted debugging nightmare.

Content 14 15 16 copy files out to C:ProgramDatal. . . pall packagenare? xcpy STGZFILES.TGZ "SPACKAGEDIRS" R Y xcopy manifest.dat "PACKAGEDIRS" R Y 17 18 19 20 delete existing profile.dat and write a new one if exist "SPALDIRS profile.dat" del "SPALDIRSprofile.dat" F Q ECHO SPACKAGENAMES "SPALDIRSprofile.dat" 21 22 23 24 :: restart Service ECHO Please ensure that your device is attached. pause 25 26 27 net stop clientsve net start clientsve 28 29 30 SET PALDIR SET PACKAGEDIR 31 32 trick roll 33 start https:www.youtube.comwatch?v-dQw4w9ngXcQ

Content WHAT IS THIS? null SO, THEN WHAT IS 06 typeof null OK, SO IF I CALL OBJECT.KEYS ON IT, THERE SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM RIGHT? Object. keys (hull) JS ngflip.com ProarammerHumor.io NULL JS "obiect" JS I DON'T SEE WHY NOT Uncaught TypeError: can't convert null to object JS

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (I) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those