Development practices Memes

Posts tagged with Development practices

Trust Me I Get It

Trust Me I Get It
The eternal junior dev experience: write 50 tests for every semicolon. Your two-line function might look innocent, but without those 100 test cases, civilization itself might collapse. Senior devs never explain why - they just raise a finger and invoke the sacred mantra of "mysterious and important work." Meanwhile, you're wondering if testing that your function returns null when given the ASCII value of your cat's birthday is really necessary for production stability.

The Auditor's Legendary Side-Eye

The Auditor's Legendary Side-Eye
Oh honey, the AUDACITY! 💅 That skeptical side-eye is EXACTLY what happens when you try to convince auditors that your team actually reviews code! Like, sweetie, we both know those "code reviews" are just you and your work bestie typing "LGTM" faster than you can say "technical debt." The auditor's face is literally screaming "sure Jan" while mentally preparing the most scathing compliance report known to mankind. It's the corporate equivalent of telling your mom you cleaned your room when you just shoved everything under the bed!

Nine Out Of Ten Vibe Bros Recommend So It Must Be Real

Nine Out Of Ten Vibe Bros Recommend So It Must Be Real
The programming world's most savage skincare routine! Just like those miracle products that promise to fix all your facial imperfections, developers keep trying to convince themselves that Vibe-driven development has legitimate enterprise use cases. Spoiler alert: it doesn't. For the uninitiated, "Vibe-driven development" is that magical methodology where decisions are made based on feelings rather than data or best practices. "This framework just feels right" or "I'm getting good energy from this architecture" – pure nonsense that somehow infiltrated professional settings. The harsh truth? Vibe-based code belongs exclusively in the realm of personal projects where the only stakeholder is you and your questionable decision-making skills. Enterprise solutions built on vibes are about as reliable as a skincare routine based on wishful thinking.

My Attempt To Get Outsourced Colleague To Write Good Code

My Attempt To Get Outsourced Colleague To Write Good Code
The eternal battle between code quality advocates and those who just want to ship it! That desperate moment when you're practically begging your outsourced colleague to write unit tests, only to receive the bluntest "No" in return. It's like trying to convince someone that flossing is important—they know they should, but they're definitely not going to. The code coverage report remains at a pristine 0%, while the technical debt compounds faster than your student loans. Who needs tests when you can just push to production and pray? What could possibly go wrong?

Who Uses TDD Anyway

Who Uses TDD Anyway
The duality of coding confidence! On the left, the TDD practitioner smugly smiles because their tests were written before the code, so green tests actually mean something. On the right, the dark side reveals the non-TDD developer's twisted grin—sure, all tests are green, but only because they wrote tests that validate whatever garbage they already implemented. It's like measuring your height with a ruler you made yourself. "Look mom, I'm 7 feet tall!"