The QA Engineer's Nightmare Bar

Content Cher cherthedev Am I testing my code or is it testing me 10:09 PM 20 Oct 20 Twitter Web App

When they say "comment your code," I don't think they meant copying instructions from a pizza box. But honestly, this is more helpful than most comments I've seen in production. At least it's clear what you need to do! Unlike that one function named "doStuff()" with a comment that just says "magic happens here." If only debugging were as simple as opening a box before eating pizza—though both activities do tend to happen at midnight while questioning your life choices.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of Monday morning development! 😱 The developer, a MAJESTIC BEAR who spent all weekend crafting their masterpiece, confronts the tester (a mere wolf) with the most heart-wrenching question: "Show me the errors." And what does this AUDACIOUS wolf reply? "Which errors?" AS IF THE CODE IS SOMEHOW PERFECT?! The SHEER NERVE! Either this tester hasn't actually tested anything or—worse—the code works flawlessly and the dev spent the entire weekend overthinking everything! It's the software development equivalent of preparing a 45-minute apology speech and then being told "I wasn't even mad." DEVASTATING!

Content SABOTAGE: Student adds bugs to the code on purpose! Intern Gets Job at ByteDance, Sabotages Neural Network Development Project for Two Months Programmer Keyu Tian got an internship at the Chinese company ByteDance and spent two months sabotaging a neural network development project by deliberately introducing errors into the code. Because of his actions, a team of thirty developers spent 247 searching for and fixing bugs that appeared in the project. The investigation revealed that Tian: Systematically uploaded Pickle files with malicious hidden code that contained viruses and other dangerous components. This code was executed automatically and randomly, so the team could not understand why their efforts did not lead to stabilization of the project Gained access to the PyTorch library on which the projects were based and made small changes to it daily, which led to program crashes. The developers did not check the source code, which is why tasks continued to fail with errors and bugs, and all experiments brought incorrect results Created chaos with checkpoints, files that save intermediate states of neural networks during their training. He changed model parameters, interfered with training data, or deleted checkpoints, which is why the team's work results disappeared and could not be restored Actively participated in work meetings, which allowed him to remain unnoticed. He attended every meeting to find out about the team's plans to fix bugs, and then created new ones. The team could not understand what was happening; Tian was exposed by logs. ByteDance reported that thirty developers worked for two months without results due to the destructive actions of one person, which led to the failure of the project deadlines and the loss of customer funds After Tian was fired from ByteDance, his mentors at university did not condemn or punish him. MIRATE

Content SURE DAD, COULD YOU PLEASE PROOFREAD MY HOMEWORK? I like pandas. They are cute I also like tigers. FAILED TO UNDERSTAND HOMEWORK. IN LINE 3: ERROR: UNEXPECTED PERSONAL PRONOUN AFTER ADJECTIVE IN SENTENCE: I ALSO LIKE TIGERS. IN TEXT WRITTEN ON PAPER ON PAPER YOU HANDED ME CHILI-CON-SPIRACY.COM

Content ASKING AIRCRAFT DESIGNERS ABOUT AIRPLANE SAFETY: NOTHING IS EVER FOOLPROOF, BUT MODERN AIRLINERS ARE INCREDIBLY RESILIENT. FLYING IS THE SAFEST WAY TO TRAVEL. ASKING BUILDING ENGINEERS ABOUT ELEVATOR SAFETY: ELEVATORS ARE PROTECTED BY MULTIPLE TRIED-AND-TESTED FAILSAFE MECHANISMS. THEY'RE NEARLY INCAPABLE OF FALLING. ASKING SOFTWARE ENGINEERS ABOUT COMPUTERIZED VOTING: THAT'S TERRIFYING. WAIT, REALLY? DON'T TRUST VOTING SOFTWARE AND DON'T LISTEN TO ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU ITS SAFE. WHY? I DON'T QUITE KNOW HOW TO PUT THIS, BUT OUR ENTIRE FIELD IS BAD AT WHAT WE DO, AND IF YOU RELY ON US, EVERYONE WILL DIE. THEY SAY THEY'VE FIXED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED "BLOCKCHAIN" AAAAA!!! WHATEVER THEY SOLD YOU, DON'T TOUCH IT. BURY IT IN THE DESERT.' WEAR GLOVES.