Fixing Bugs The Corporate Way

Content Why is it, that whenever something happens, it's always you three? Uncaught TypeError: Cannot read property TypeError: null is not an object ReferenceError: event is not defined

The AUDACITY of Project Managers thinking developers are just sandbagging timelines! 💅 Honey, I could absolutely crush this feature in 4 days flat if you'd stop scheduling 17 "quick sync" meetings and asking for "just one tiny change" every 3 hours! The look on this man's face is LITERALLY me trying not to scream "I TOLD YOU SO" when the PM suggests we could "fast track" if we "really pushed ourselves." Darling, my estimates already assume I'm mainlining caffeine and skipping bathroom breaks!

Ah yes, the sacred ritual of writing tests. Nobody wants to do them, but when that rare moment of inspiration strikes, you spend 45 minutes crafting the perfect variable name instead of actually testing anything. Look at those beautifully named constants! jennyWithCountryCode and jennySansCountryCode - probably took longer to name than the actual function they're testing. And you just know that developer felt an inappropriate amount of satisfaction after typing them. The real unit test was the clever variable names we made along the way.

Ah, the infamous "Ostrich Algorithm" – the unspoken backbone of production code everywhere! When asked how they fixed a bug, the developer proudly admits they just... ignored it. Why waste precious hours hunting down an edge case that happens once in a blue moon when you could be creating exciting new bugs instead? It's not laziness, it's "cost-effectiveness" – the corporate-approved term for "I'll let future me (or some poor junior dev) deal with it." The best part? It's actually documented in computer science, giving us the perfect excuse to pretend our technical debt is actually a legitimate strategy!

That magical moment when you stumble upon your ancient code and suddenly feel like a time-traveling archaeologist! 🧠✨ You stare at those cryptic functions thinking, "Wow, past me was actually a coding wizard?!" It's like finding a treasure map you wrote while sleepwalking - somehow it works brilliantly, but current you has absolutely NO IDEA how you pulled it off! The best part is when you're too scared to refactor because you might break the mysterious spell that keeps everything running. Past you: 1, Present you: 0!

Content developer A boy and a tester girt can never be friend.