Do They Know About Rust

Linus finally found the ultimate disciplinary tool for kernel developers: threatening them with Rust. It's like telling your kids they'll have to eat vegetables if they don't behave, except the vegetables are memory safety and the kids are C programmers who've been writing unsafe code since 1991. The satire nails it—Rust was "created as a way to punish software developers" who "really had it coming." Because nothing says punishment like borrow checkers, lifetimes, and compiler errors that read like philosophical dissertations. The best part? One developer is relieved it's not Perl. That's how you know things have gotten serious—when Rust is the *merciful* option. Torvalds wielding Rust as a threat is peak Linux energy. "Shape up or you're rewriting that driver with lifetime annotations."

Ah, the classic Rust evangelism standoff! Someone dared to mention Rust's compiler prevents bugs, and our hero swooped in with the programming equivalent of "I studied the blade while you studied the compiler." The Rust community has gained a reputation for being the CrossFit enthusiasts of programming—they'll tell you about memory safety before you even finish saying "Hello World." Meanwhile, grizzled veterans clutch their segmentation faults like precious heirlooms, insisting their decades of experience are superior to any compiler guardrails. It's the eternal struggle between "I've been coding C for 20 years and never had a buffer overflow" guy versus "have you heard the good news about our lord and savior, the borrow checker?" crowd.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute BETRAYAL! 😱 You're telling me this "revolutionary" Rust GUI framework is just JavaScript wearing a trench coat?! The AUDACITY! It's like ordering a fancy artisanal coffee and discovering it's just instant coffee with extra foam! Developers spent YEARS escaping JavaScript's chaos only to find it smuggled back in through the Rust basement window! This is the programming equivalent of finding out your vegan burger is actually 100% beef. TRUST ISSUES ACTIVATED! 💔

JavaScript gets all the love while C, Java, Rust, and others gang up on poor PHP. Then in the shadows, we find the true outcasts: another PHP developer and the mythical Monkey C programmer, sweating nervously because nobody even remembers they exist. The programming language hierarchy in one comic! JavaScript strutting around like it owns the web (it kinda does), while PHP gets bullied despite powering like 80% of the internet. And Monkey C? That's the language you put on your resume when you're hoping the interviewer is too embarrassed to admit they've never heard of it.

The embedded systems world is having a full-blown affair with C/C++ while giving Rust the cold shoulder. Despite Rust's memory safety guarantees and zero-cost abstractions, embedded devs keep crawling back to their toxic exes C and C++. It's like watching someone choose dial-up when fiber is available because "we've always done it this way." The embedded community's relationship status with C/C++ is definitely: "It's complicated" – and by complicated, I mean "refusing to move on despite all the segfaults and buffer overflows."

The genius here is that Rust's entire existence revolves around the Result<T, E> and Option<T> types, which you literally have to unwrap using .unwrap() , .expect() , or proper error handling. So when Christmas rolls around and Rust devs are told to unwrap presents, their brains immediately go into panic mode—not the fun kind, but the thread-panicking kind that crashes your program. The penguin's concerned side-eye captures that exact moment when a Rust developer realizes they can't just pattern match their way out of this social interaction or use if let Some(gift) = present to safely extract the contents. No borrow checker to save you from Aunt Linda asking why you're still single, buddy.