When AI Writes Your Hello World

Ah yes, the classic "$800,000 bootcamp" that promises to transform you into a software engineer in just 3 months by teaching you *checks notes* approximately 87 programming languages, including some that barely exist anymore. Nothing says "legitimate education" like cramming Fortran, COBOL, and Assembly alongside React and TypeScript into 90 days. The "if you can't find a job you can spit on our faces" guarantee is the cherry on top of this scam sundae. Spoiler alert: The only thing you'll master in 3 months is how to lose $800K faster than a startup with free snacks and ping pong tables.

PHP sitting there like the cockroach that survived the nuclear apocalypse while everyone keeps throwing funeral arrangements at it. For THREE DECADES people have been writing PHP's obituary, and yet here we are in 2025 celebrating its 30th birthday like it's some kind of immortal deity that feeds on developer hatred. ColdFusion? Dead. ASP.NET's glory days? Faded. NextJS being the "PHP killer"? PHP literally laughed and ate another slice of birthday cake. The cycle is HILARIOUS: new framework drops → "PHP is dead!" → PHP continues powering like 77% of the web → confused pikachu face → repeat. Meanwhile Ruby on Rails and Django got their little moment of fame in the timeline like supporting characters in PHP's never-ending sitcom. The real plot twist? That

Groundbreaking personality test just dropped. Turns out no matter which programming language you choose, you're still a nerd. MATLAB users get the special "engineer and a nerd" combo badge, while Fortran enthusiasts earn the prestigious "old and a nerd" achievement. The rest of us? Just regular nerds. Shocking revelation that absolutely nobody saw coming.

The meme starts all noble with "STOP making fun of different programming languages" and then proceeds to give each language a compliment... except JavaScript. Poor JavaScript just sits there, nameless and attributeless, like that one kid nobody picked for dodgeball. The irony is delicious - in a post preaching language tolerance, JavaScript gets the digital equivalent of "...and you're also here I guess." Clearly whoever made this meme has spent one too many nights debugging callback hell and now has trust issues.

The meme starts with a noble plea to "STOP making fun of different programming languages" followed by compliments for various languages: C is FAST, Java is POPULAR, Ruby is COOL, Python is BEAUTIFUL, Haskell is INTRIGUING... and then there's just "JavaScript" with no compliment whatsoever. The silent burn is absolutely devastating. Even in a post about not making fun of languages, JavaScript still gets thrown under the bus by omission. The programming equivalent of your mom saying she loves all her children equally and then forgetting to mention you.

THE DUALITY OF DEVELOPERS IS SENDING ME! 💀 Left side: Game dev with MUSCLES FOR DAYS thinking they're God's gift to programming. "I'll just BUILD MY OWN ENGINE from scratch!" Meanwhile, they're probably still debugging collision detection three years later. Right side: Backend devs LITERALLY CRYING while Ruby on Rails crashes for the 47th time today. The tears! The drama! The existential crisis when your production server implodes because you dared to update a gem! And yet... we keep coming back for more punishment. It's like a toxic relationship with semicolons and brackets!