When AI Writes Your Hello World

The meme starts all noble with "STOP making fun of different programming languages" and then proceeds to give each language a compliment... except JavaScript. Poor JavaScript just sits there, nameless and attributeless, like that one kid nobody picked for dodgeball. The irony is delicious - in a post preaching language tolerance, JavaScript gets the digital equivalent of "...and you're also here I guess." Clearly whoever made this meme has spent one too many nights debugging callback hell and now has trust issues.

OH. MY. GOD. This flowchart is the MOST SAVAGE roast of programming languages I've ever witnessed! 💀 Want to make money but you're dumb? JavaScript it is! No friends? PHP is your soulmate! Like snakes? PYTHON, OBVIOUSLY! 🐍 The audacity of asking "Are you even a human?" before recommending Perl is just... *chef's kiss*. And don't get me started on how C++ is for people who don't want to be happy. THE TRUTH HURTS! This flowchart doesn't just choose a programming language for you—it reads your entire personality and then DRAGS IT across the floor! Whoever made this woke up and chose violence. Period.

When your senior dev reviews your Elixir/Phoenix code and finds that sneaky logger statement you forgot to remove before pushing to production. The classic "Dose nuts fit in your mouth?" joke hidden in a Phoenix controller action is the programming equivalent of leaving a whoopee cushion on the CTO's chair. And let's be honest, no AI is going to understand why that's both hilarious and a career-limiting move.

The meme starts with a noble plea to "STOP making fun of different programming languages" followed by compliments for various languages: C is FAST, Java is POPULAR, Ruby is COOL, Python is BEAUTIFUL, Haskell is INTRIGUING... and then there's just "JavaScript" with no compliment whatsoever. The silent burn is absolutely devastating. Even in a post about not making fun of languages, JavaScript still gets thrown under the bus by omission. The programming equivalent of your mom saying she loves all her children equally and then forgetting to mention you.

The meme perfectly captures the elegance contrast between Python and Ruby on Rails. Python needs an entire import statement and function call just to say "10 years ago," while Ruby's syntax is so human-readable it looks like plain English. And yes, the rainbow hair on the Ruby side is *chef's kiss* on-brand for a language named after a gemstone. Syntactic sugar so sweet it'll rot your teeth.

Finally, a political compass that makes sense! Instead of left vs. right, we've got "System Lang" vs "Toy Lang" - because nothing starts a flame war faster than calling someone's favorite language a "toy." And instead of authoritarian vs libertarian, we've got "Obsolete Lang" vs "Nu Lang" - where COBOL programmers are still making bank while the rest of us chase shiny new frameworks every six months. The placement is savage. Assembly and C sitting proudly in the "real systems" corner while Python and Ruby hang out in the "scripting for children" zone. And poor Brainfuck got exiled to the furthest corner possible - exactly where it belongs. This is basically a Rorschach test for developers. Whatever quadrant your favorite language is in tells everyone exactly what kind of programmer you are... and whether anyone wants to sit next to you at lunch.