AI Can Almost Do A "FIXME"... We're Cooked

OH. MY. GOD. The eternal tragedy of UI design in one glorious disaster! 😱 Developer creates what they think is a "simple and intuitive" teapot interface, and then watch in horror as users attempt the impossible gymnastics of pouring from the SIDE of the pot instead of the spout! The cosmic gap between developer intention and user reality has never been so painfully illustrated. It's like watching someone try to exit Vim for the first time – pure, unadulterated chaos that makes you question humanity's future. The road to unusable software is paved with "intuitive" designs!

Nothing says "I'm a developer with commitment issues" quite like this sticker pack. VSCode for when you want an editor that's somehow both lightweight and RAM-hungry. ReactJS because you enjoy rewriting your components every six months when the API changes. Rust for when you need to tell everyone at the coffee shop that you care about memory safety. PHP because legacy code never dies, it just smells that way. GitHub because where else would you store the 47 half-finished side projects you'll never complete? Ubuntu for when you want Linux without the street cred. JavaScript because you've accepted that type coercion is just life's way of keeping you humble. And finally, the Go gopher – the mascot that reminds you that simplicity is great until you need generics.

That poor Vanilla JS developer surrounded by framework fanatics in the JavaScript pool party! The lone dev just trying to write clean, native code while everyone points and judges like he brought a flip phone to an iPhone convention. Framework zealots never miss a chance to evangelize their library of choice, while vanilla devs are left explaining why they don't need 300MB of node_modules to render a button. The irony? That vanilla JS dev probably understands the language better than all the framework swimmers combined!

Ah yes, another revolutionary startup idea: Tailwind CSS + dark theme + neon colors. The holy trinity of "I'm totally not building the same thing as everyone else." Squidward's sarcasm perfectly captures what happens when you pitch your groundbreaking web app to anyone who's seen more than three websites in the past decade. Next you'll tell me you're using React and MongoDB too. Truly disruptive.

The four stages of becoming a JavaScript developer: 1. Innocent excitement: "Ooh, a book about JavaScript!" 2. First encounter with callback hell: *uncontrollable sobbing* 3. Acceptance phase: *builds fortress of solitude with multiple monitors* 4. Final form: Bearded wisdom, thousand-yard stare, and a strong drink to numb the pain of yet another framework release. They grow up so fast when you feed them promises that never resolve.

The ultimate tech marketing strategy: weaponize political drama. Replit's founder is basically saying "Hey, hate that Vercel CEO met with Netanyahu? Cool, here's how to migrate your Next.js project to us in three easy steps—and we'll even PAY you to switch!" Pure predatory capitalism wrapped in a veneer of moral outrage. It's like watching vultures in Patagonia jackets fighting over roadkill, except the roadkill is your deployment pipeline.