Fit On That Thang

Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tel: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Cog: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Peri6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft

When faced with a mysterious bug, there are two types of developers in this world: those who use proper debugging tools and those who frantically scatter print() statements like confetti at a parade. Let's be honest—we've all smashed that red button at 2AM while muttering "just one more print statement should reveal the problem" for the 47th time. Sure, debuggers exist with their fancy breakpoints and variable inspection, but nothing beats the primal satisfaction of watching your terminal fill up with print("HERE") , print("WHY GOD WHY") , and the classic print("AAAAAAAAAA") . Debuggers are for people with time management skills. Print statements are for the rest of us heroes.

Content Write a post complaining about ChatGPT posts on ProgrammerHumor I am extremely disappointed with the recent influx of ChatGPT posts on ProgrammerHumor. For those who may not know, ChatGPT is a language model trained by OpenAl, and it is being used by some users to generate low-effort jokes and memes that lack any real wit or humor. These posts are clogging up the subreddit and providing no value to the community. It's clear that the users posting these ChatGPT-generated jokes are only doing so to game the algorithm and get easy upvotes. It's lazy and it's ruining the subreddit for those of us who actually take the time to come up with original, funny content. I understand that machine learning and artificial intelligence are fascinating fields, but using a language model to generate jokes is not impressive or amusing. It's just lazy and unoriginal. I urge the moderators of rProgrammerHumor to take action and crack down on these ChatGPT posts, so that the subreddit can return to being a place for genuinely funny and interesting content. 7 Q

Ah, the classic beginner's dilemma. You're just trying to pick up coding, overwhelmed by the buffet of languages spread before you—Python, JavaScript, C#, Java—each one promising to be the one . Meanwhile, seasoned devs are in the corner cackling with their Rust bottles like some coding cult. The truth? After 15 years in this industry, I've watched languages come and go faster than startup CEOs after funding runs out. The beginners panic about which pill to swallow while the veterans know the real drug was memory safety and zero-cost abstractions all along. Rust is like that friend who does CrossFit—they won't shut up about it, but damn if they aren't in better shape than the rest of us garbage-collected peasants.

Oh man, the eternal while(alive) loop of a developer's existence! 😂 This is basically our source code as humans who code! We're just NPCs running the same four functions until our process terminates. The best part? That repeat() function that makes this an infinite recursive nightmare - because apparently eating, sleeping, and coding wasn't enough torture! And there's no break statement in sight! Whoever wrote this algorithm for developer life clearly had a sick sense of humor!

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