Whole different person

Content Product Owner: Build me a bridge! Developer A: This bridge is a combination retro-modern suspension bridge tunnel. Even though the connecting road has three lanes, the bridge has seventeen lanes because we anticipate expansion. We used twine for the suspension part because we couldn't get steel cables to work, and the tunnel part floods every Tuesday and Thursday. Also, the bridge turns pink and shoots fireworks on my birthday. And sometimes on Khloe Kardashian's birthday. Developer B: This bridge is a flat slab of adamantium-reinforced concrete that is bolted to the Earth's core. It has one lane and cannot be expanded. Ever. It is guaranteed to function until the heat death of the universe.

Content Smartest people ranked: 12. You 11. Can't 10. Rank 9. Them 8. Because 7. People 6. Are 5. All 4. Smart 3. In 2. Different 1. Ways 0. Programmers

The classic developer progression: from "I made a calculator app!" to "I built an entire operating system just to run Tetris." It's like showing up to a knife fight with a nuclear warhead. Sure, your calculator adds numbers, but this madlad wrote a custom OS for a game from the 80s. Peak developer overkill. The gap between your first "Hello World" and someone's weekend project that casually reinvents computing is why Stack Overflow exists—half to get help, half to feel inadequate about your coding skills.

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The Terminator's code review process is brutally efficient. Junior dev thinks creating a PR means they're done, but they've forgotten the most important part—getting their Tech Lead's approval. And just like the Terminator's cold delivery of bad news, there's no sugar-coating it when your TL has abandoned the project, gone on vacation, or worse... left for another company. Now your code is stuck in PR purgatory, neither alive nor dead, just waiting... forever.

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