When You Read Your 3 Years Old Code

Ah, the classic "chandelier headlights" approach to programming. Nothing says "senior developer with deadlines" quite like ripping some random Stack Overflow solution and jamming it into your codebase with zero understanding of how it works. That car is basically every production system I've ever inherited. Sure, those fancy chandeliers aren't designed to be headlights, but hey—they're emitting light, aren't they? Ship it! The real magic happens three months later when you've forgotten you did this and have to debug why your car keeps blowing fuses and setting small birds on fire.

Nothing hits harder than Google themselves confirming what we've all secretly known. You spend hours crafting an elaborate solution, only to wake up at 3 AM wondering if your entire codebase is just an elaborate house of cards held together by desperation and StackOverflow answers. The real engineering skill isn't writing clever algorithms—it's convincing yourself that your janky workaround is actually an elegant design pattern. And somehow we're still getting paid for this.

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Finally, someone said the quiet part out loud. Every time management pushes for a shiny new tech stack, my bank account feels a disturbance in the force. That moment when your 15 years of C++ wizardry becomes less valuable than a junior who completed "Rust in 30 Days" on Udemy. Memory safety? More like salary safety... for the company. The tech industry's greatest magic trick: convincing us that rewriting perfectly functional systems is about "innovation" rather than resetting the salary clock. Same playbook as when they renamed "programmers" to "software engineers" to "developers" to "ninjas" - different title, same work, fresh salary bands. Guess I'll start learning Rust while updating my LinkedIn to "Blockchain AI Quantum Rust Developer" to stay relevant until the next language comes to destroy my market value.