When Programmers Try To Date

Ah yes, the classic pagination system that absolutely nobody uses. Those suspiciously precise version numbers masquerading as page numbers? That's what happens when the backend developer is also in charge of UI design. Nine decimal places of precision for page numbers is exactly what users need! And that "Go" button? It's just sitting there, judging your life choices, knowing damn well nobody's typing "page 3.023809523809" in that input field. This is what happens when you ask for "pagination" in the requirements doc without specifying further details. The developer technically delivered what was asked for... just with the UX sensibilities of a calculator.

The human brain: allocating 23% CPU and 2.4GB of RAM to thinking about sex, 8% to lunch plans, and a measly 2.4% to actually finding that seg fault. Meanwhile, writing documentation and unit tests are running in the background with 0% CPU utilization. Priorities perfectly aligned for maximum debugging inefficiency. The real kicker? Those embarrassing memories from 2007 somehow consuming 1.2GB of memory that could've been used to solve the actual problem. But hey, at least "Incoming Bowel Movement" is only using 0.1% CPU - small victories.

Looking at ( ( ) ) => { } ) ( ) ; and wondering how it works is like staring into the abyss of JavaScript's syntax flexibility. It's just nested parentheses, curly braces, and arrows having an existential crisis together. After 15 years of development, I still get cold sweats when I see code like this in production. Somewhere, a senior dev is nodding knowingly while secretly Googling "what does extra parenthesis in arrow function do" in an incognito tab.

Content YOU CANNOT REPRODUCE BECAUSE NO GIRL LIKES YOU CANNOT REPRODUCE BECAUSE THE BUG DOESN'T EXIST WE ARE NOT THE SAME

The modern dev partnership nobody asked for but everyone's getting. You're over here writing tangled, unmaintainable code that somehow works (classic spaghetti), while AI swoops in to add the only thing that makes it palatable - some actual structure and features. Let's be honest, your code was going to production either way, but now it's slightly less likely to collapse under its own weight. The real irony? That chef looks more confident about the result than any of us feel about our codebase.

Content My ambitious side project When willyou complete me and become millionare? yuva.krishna.memes Me That's the neat part, I won't (have time)