Well It Does Exactly What It Says

Finally, a political compass that makes sense! Instead of left vs. right, we've got "System Lang" vs "Toy Lang" - because nothing starts a flame war faster than calling someone's favorite language a "toy." And instead of authoritarian vs libertarian, we've got "Obsolete Lang" vs "Nu Lang" - where COBOL programmers are still making bank while the rest of us chase shiny new frameworks every six months. The placement is savage. Assembly and C sitting proudly in the "real systems" corner while Python and Ruby hang out in the "scripting for children" zone. And poor Brainfuck got exiled to the furthest corner possible - exactly where it belongs. This is basically a Rorschach test for developers. Whatever quadrant your favorite language is in tells everyone exactly what kind of programmer you are... and whether anyone wants to sit next to you at lunch.

Nothing says "I'm a serious developer" quite like dropping $3000 on a PC just to run VS Code and Chrome. The unholy matrimony of NVIDIA and Ryzen—where your GPU costs more than your car payment and your CPU has more cores than you have meaningful relationships. Meanwhile, your code still crashes because you forgot a semicolon. The modern dev's power couple: enough computing strength to simulate the universe, primarily used to run npm install and watch YouTube tutorials on the side.

Content gall Verizon 7:34 PM 40 500 Gary If (Kathryn "Asshole") STFU; You realize STFU( implies this.STFU; You told your own class to STFU while(Gary.type type.ASSHOLE) Gary.canSucklttrue; Goddamnittt Plus, Kathryn is just a String? There's not a Person class? Basic shit babe Yea it accurately reflects how shallow you are. You're just one step above a primitive data type. You're not a person class because you're less than human. Hahahaa That was a grade A nerd burn babe. I'm proud Hahaha iMessage

Someone asked what programming languages polyglots dream in, and the answer "JavaScript" got absolutely demolished with the most savage correction of all time. Because let's be real, nobody is out here having sweet dreams about type coercion, undefined is not a function, and the fact that [] + {} somehow equals "[object Object]" while {} + [] equals 0. JavaScript doesn't visit your dreams—it breaks into your subconscious at ungodly hours, whispers "NaN === NaN is false" in your ear, and leaves you questioning your entire existence. The language where adding an array to an object makes perfect sense to absolutely nobody, but here we are, building the entire internet with it anyway. Sweet dreams are made of these? More like cold sweats and existential dread.

Content o Verizon LTE 9:47 AM 69 "Siri when will the world end" tap to edit Well, Unix 32-bit time overflows on January 19, 2038. Maybe then.

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