Welcome To The Team

Your first day onboarding be like: "Here's a whiteboard full of 47,000 interconnected boxes that somehow represent our 'simple' microservices architecture. Don't worry, it gets worse!" The absolute AUDACITY of calling that nightmare flowchart an "overview" and then threatening to go into MORE detail is peak corporate sadism. That poor new hire is about to discover that the "little more detail" involves twelve legacy systems held together by duct tape, prayers, and a Perl script from 2003 that nobody dares to touch because the guy who wrote it retired to Bali.