Universal Truths Of Software Development

The irony of complaining you can't find a programmer girlfriend while she's sitting at home with the exact same setup as you, avoiding human contact for the same reasons. Two introverts in their natural habitats will never cross paths unless someone's Git repo gets accidentally forked. The plants are probably the most socially active entities in both apartments.

That moment when you realize Stack Overflow will never die because we're still copying and pasting the same answers from 2011. The annual developer survey is just a formality at this point—like checking if anyone's actually writing original code anymore. Spoiler alert: we're not. We're just finding increasingly creative ways to ask "how to center a div" without admitting we've asked it before.

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Oh. My. GOD. The DRAMA of JavaScript's this keyword is the ultimate betrayal! You're sitting there, coding away, when suddenly your program implodes and you scream "F*** THIS!" in righteous fury—only to realize the tragic irony that you literally have NO IDEA what "this" even is in your code! 😱 It's like screaming at a ghost you can't see! For the JavaScript-curious, this is that slippery little devil that changes meaning depending on context—sometimes it's the window, sometimes it's an object, sometimes it's whatever random thing bound to it. And don't even get me started on arrow functions changing all the rules! The AUDACITY!

Finally, a Git tutorial that makes sense! The landing plane is git commit - safely touching down with your changes. The takeoff is git push - launching your code into the remote repo with a prayer it doesn't crash. And git add ? That's just people desperately climbing onto a sketchy ladder in the middle of nowhere - exactly how it feels tracking files before you've figured out what half of them even do. Ryanair's budget operations perfectly capture the bare-minimum approach most of us take with version control. "Yeah, I'll just commit directly to main. What could possibly go wrong?"

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