They Don't Know About Monads

Ah, the Haskell evangelist at the party. Standing alone in the corner, sipping his drink, silently judging everyone's inferior programming paradigms. He's mastered monads—those abstract mathematical structures that let you chain operations together—and desperately wants someone, anyone, to ask about them. Meanwhile, the rest of the party has collectively agreed to avoid eye contact lest they trigger another 45-minute lecture on pure functional programming and why their favorite language is "just a monad in a trenchcoat." The functional programming equivalent of a vegan who crossfits.