The Canine Code Enforcer

Behold, the "ML Engineer" who discovered that Python sorts strings alphabetically instead of numerically! The horror! Next breaking news: water is wet. What we're witnessing here is the classic "I didn't read the docs but it's definitely the language's fault" syndrome. Python's sorted() is working perfectly—it's sorting ["9%", "83%", "25%"] as strings, exactly as it should when you give it strings. Pro tip for our aspiring "ML Engineer": try sorted([int(x.strip('%')) for x in a]) next time. Or maybe stick to Excel?

Alternate Jurassic Park ending: Dennis Nedry realizes he's the only IT guy maintaining a critical system with actual dinosaurs and demands fair compensation. Hammond reluctantly agrees instead of lowballing him. Movie ends peacefully, no one gets eaten, and the park probably has working door locks. The real horror was the salary negotiation all along.

Content SENIOR DEV WHEN YOU ASK FOR THE DOCUMENTATION: IN CASE YOU PEOPLE HAVE FORGOTTEN THIS TEAM OPLRATES UNDER THE SAME RULES AS THE BEST OF THE INDUSTRY. COMMENTS ARE NOT THE DOCUMENTATION .. I AM THE DOCUMENTATION imgthp.com hanD

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Oh. My. GOD. The absolute RAGE that boils through my veins when someone calls their half-baked, no-documentation, "just-vibes" approach to programming "vibe coding." SWEETIE, your code isn't "intuitive" or "flowing with the universe" - it's a NIGHTMARE that the next developer will have to decipher like some ancient hieroglyphics! You didn't "feel your way" through that algorithm - you just didn't bother to learn proper practices and now we're all paying the price! Next person who says they're "vibe coding" is getting their keyboard privileges REVOKED. 💅

Spending $2500 on a high-end developer laptop only to join standup meetings looking like you're broadcasting from a witness protection program is the tech industry's greatest irony. Phone manufacturers pour millions into camera R&D while laptop makers apparently salvage webcams from 2005 flip phones they found in a dumpster. Nothing says "I'm a professional software engineer" quite like having your face rendered as an impressionist painting made of exactly 12 pixels. The best part? We'll spend hours optimizing code to save milliseconds but accept video quality that makes us look like we're being viewed through a rain-soaked window. Priorities!