Story Of Every Software Company

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Content Q: Why do programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas? A : Because Oct 31 Dec 25

Content My family: when you move, make sure you move the most important things first. My new house:

You know that mini heart attack when the compiler says "Error on line 42" and you frantically scroll to line 42, only to find it's a completely innocent closing brace? Then you look at line 43 and see the actual problem starting there. The error message is technically correct but also absolutely useless because the real issue is never where it claims to be. Compilers have this delightful habit of detecting errors at the point where they finally give up trying to make sense of your code, not where you actually messed up. That missing semicolon on line 38? The compiler won't notice until line 42 when it's like "wait, what is happening here?" It's the developer equivalent of your GPS saying "you missed your turn" three blocks after you actually missed it. Thanks, I hate it.

Friday deployments are the forbidden fruit of software development, and this developer just took a big ol' bite. Cruising along smoothly on a regular day? No problem! But the SECOND you decide to push that "deploy" button on a Friday afternoon, you've basically signed a blood oath to sacrifice your entire weekend to the bug gods. What could possibly go wrong, right? EVERYTHING. Everything can go wrong. Now instead of enjoying your Saturday brunch and Sunday Netflix binge, you're frantically SSH-ing into production servers at 2 AM in your pajamas, wondering why you didn't just wait until Monday like literally every senior dev warned you. The golden rule exists for a reason, folks—your weekend plans are NOT worth testing in production when nobody's around to help you clean up the mess.

Content Have you ever heard of Qualcomm, innovator and creator of cell phone technology? Oh yeah. Qualcomm has been inventing and licensing their ideas to tech companies for years. 10 bucks?!? That's obscene! How can poor poor Apple, the world's largest tech company, expect to survive Qualcomm's blatant monopolistic practices? As an Apple app developer, that's the kind of question that keeps me up at night. 2017 Jeff Lovers Did you know Apple is suing Qualcomm for having monopolistic tendencies and gouging prices? You bet! Their patents cost Apple around 10 per iPhone. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pay Apple my annual 99 app developer fee, plus 30 of all app sales, and shop for a new Macintosh computer, the only hardware I'm allowed to use when submitting to ilunes, as mandated by the Apple Developer Agreement. Don' Hit Save - donthitsave.com