Nobody's Paying Fifteen A Year For Your Slop Buddy

You can have the perfect resume, killer portfolio, a Master's degree from MIT, and ace every technical question like you invented the language itself. But none of that matters if your buddy from college works at the company. Nepotism beats merit every single time in the hiring game. Your friend probably got hired because his roommate's cousin knew the CTO, and now he's your golden ticket past the ATS black hole and the 47 rounds of interviews. The tech industry loves to preach meritocracy while running on a network of "I know a guy who knows a guy." Your LinkedIn connections are worth more than your LeetCode streak.

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Content (SUDER 99 of people posting memes in rProgrammerHumor have never actually coded anything CHANGE MY MIND PS: JaVaScRiPt BaD PyThOn SloW,

Content How almost every Stack Overflow question looks to me How do I do this thing? 43 I'm not aware of how to use Google, how do I do this basic thing in Language X? coding question share improve this question edited Apr 2 '12 at 8:13 Grammar Nazi 2.5M 739 70 asked Feb 1 '10 at 16:27 133720 210306 5 Answers active oldest votes Lazy but functional answer with no extensibility 12 share improve this answer answered Feb 1'10 at 16:30 (BE 11280 CodE 25 That's perfect! I'm never checking back here again! - 1337z0r Feb 1'10 at 16:42 A lot of people think you should do it in a lazy way, however in the long run it will help you if you read this well eloquent wall of text that acutely describes problems you will inevitably face but not take the time to 248 read about here: enjoy these code samples and lustrations I puled from thin air anyway! share improve this answer answered Feb 1 '10 at 16:30 A WTF look at my points 34M 400 150 60 18 The official way to do this is link. share improve this answer answered Feb 1 '10 at 16:29 Professional Coder 5.241 224 63 Uh.. No thanks, this is too hard. Can you give me an example of how my code should look when complete? - 1337z0 Feb 1 '10 at 16:41

Oh. My. God. The DESCENT into tech purity madness has never been so PERFECTLY captured! 💅 First, you're just an innocent Windows user. Then SUDDENLY you're putting on foundation and diving into Ubuntu because "Windows is bloat" (how dare it have a GUI that works, right?!). But honey, that's just the GATEWAY drug! Before you know it, you're applying full clown makeup and screaming about how even UBUNTU is too mainstream as you frantically install Arch like it's some kind of personality trait! The FINAL transformation? Full rainbow wig, declaring that EVERYTHING is garbage except your precious Rust, which you'll use to rewrite the calculator app that worked perfectly fine before you spent 6 months "optimizing" it. 🤡 The tech elitism to clown pipeline is REAL, people!