Never Fails: The Accidental IT Department

Content namespace std; using int; using void; using timet; using d bool; 10 define auto 11 define a enum 12 define false 13 define de true 14 define "evil" 15 define L ::makeshared 16 define virtual 17 define :: cout 18 define ::endl 19 templatesclass 20 using 3 0:: vector; 21 templateclass " 22 using ::shared ptr; 24 00 5 8, 8, 18, 3; () return ::rand(); 0 return ; 3 28 struct I I 99() 0; 29 struct 30 struct 31 struct 32 struct 33 struct 34 struct ; ; (w 0) 56 41 (), 60(), L sir () , for : o -99 (); return 80;

Content 1 Am Devloper iamdevloper when someone asks what happened to that side project I was working on Trump is giving up on regime change in Venezuela because it's complicated and he got bored, report says Tom Porter 5m

When you inherit a codebase with zero documentation and the original developers have all left the company. The desperate hunt begins! You're not just looking for answers—you're on a full-blown archaeological expedition through commit histories and cryptic variable names. "What does fetchRustySpoon() even do and why does the entire payment system depend on it?!" The best part? Management expects you to add new features while you're still trying to figure out why everything is held together with duct tape and prayers.

Content We need to talk ou seem to have more time ton your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you RUN CMD RUN You're my number 1 in my life Just that I start counting from fb.comprogrammingjokes NERD LIFE studio

Content No thanks! No thanks No thanks! We are too busy, We are too busy We are too busy Programmers in Enterprise Company Programmers in Startup Company Programmers in Government

There's commenting code, and then there's weaponizing comments. While you're over there documenting your elegant solutions, some developers are crafting elaborate manifestos defending why they chose to implement a singleton that manages 47 global variables with a switch statement that's 300 lines long. The truly diabolical part? The comments are so well-written that the next developer thinks, "This person clearly thought this through." No, Chad, they just have excellent PR skills for their terrible code crimes.