It's Already 3 AM: Go And Complete Your Code

That brief moment of joy when you find the perfect function in some obscure documentation, only to have your soul crushed in three consecutive stages of despair. First, it's deprecated. Then you discover the docs you're reading are from 2015. And finally, the killing blow - the new API has completely removed that functionality because some architect decided "nobody needs that anymore." Time to cobble together a 47-line workaround that'll haunt your code reviews for years!

The superhuman ability to spot a missing semicolon in someone else's 5000-line codebase vs. the complete blindness to your own glaringly obvious infinite loop that's been crashing production for three days. The cognitive dissonance is real! Your brain literally transforms into Patrick Star when reviewing your own masterpiece of spaghetti code. It's like having microscopic vision for others' syntax errors but developing sudden selective code blindness the moment you open your own pull request.

Ah, the mythical German C language – where function names sound like commands from an angry drill sergeant. The code shows the classic "Hello World" program, but with Germanic syntax that would make any normal C programmer wake up in cold sweats. Instead of the civilized int main() and printf() , we've got Ganz Haupt() and druckef() – because apparently regular C wasn't intimidating enough. And let's not forget zurück 0 instead of return 0 because why use English when you can sound like you're summoning a demon? The therapist clearly hasn't seen what happens when your compiler encounters this monstrosity. Trust me, the error messages would be in German too, and twice as long.

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