Interns Be Like

Content My programming experience The experience job recruiters want The salary they give

Content I'll clean up that code once it works And Other Hilarious Jokes You Can Tell Yourself Volume Il

Content NEW SIDE PROJECT ME ALLMY OTHER UNFINISHED PROJECTS

Finally, someone who comments their code properly! The sacred ancient art of adding a copyright header twice in the same file. Nothing says "I'm a professional" like redundant legal protection from 1987. The second copyright notice is there just in case you missed the first one while doom-scrolling through 10,000 lines of legacy code at 3 AM. Security through repetition! Pro tip: For maximum job security, add a third copyright notice at the end of the file. That way, future developers will be too intimidated by your thoroughness to ever refactor your masterpiece.

Content qDBM WHAT DO YOU NEED FOR A GOOD RELATIONSHIP? PRIMARY KEYS SalDBM

Ah, the eternal corporate solution to every problem: create another communication channel ! While two team members suggest actually doing work (system design and product design), the third genius proposes adding yet another Slack channel to the 47 existing ones nobody reads. The boss's reaction is all of us witnessing our project's inevitable death by a thousand notifications. Nothing says "efficient workflow" like spending 3 hours scrolling through #random, #general, #team-updates, #project-alpha-beta-gamma, and now #yet-another-useless-channel to find that one important message someone definitely didn't email you instead.