Interns Be Like

Ah yes, the classic tech interview credential paradox, perfectly captured by "Former Child" as the only qualification. Nothing says "I can reverse a binary tree" quite like bragging that you've successfully completed the tutorial level of human existence. Tech companies want 5 years of experience in a framework that's 3 years old, but hey—I've been breathing for 25 years straight without a single outage! That's 99.9999% uptime, baby. Resume padding has never been so honest.