Get Me That Report

Content Microsoft is evil but Google is noble and good And Other Hilarious Jokes You Can Tell Yourself Volume II imoflio.com

Content Professional career as a fullstack developer Googling "How to use redstone in 2011

Content Programmers working in startup be like.. I'm not in the team I'm the team

Content Tech forum users rushing to the comment section of a niche issue post only to say "I'm having this problem too"

Nothing says "I'm a catch" quite like bringing up catastrophic security incidents as your opening line! Because what gets hearts racing faster than discussing how thousands of API keys got exposed to the entire internet? Move over pickup artists, there's a new breed of romantic in town who thinks talking about data breaches is the ultimate icebreaker. Forget asking about hobbies or interests—let's dive straight into the existential dread of accidentally pushing credentials to a public GitHub repo! The person on the receiving end is absolutely *thrilled* to hear about your professional disasters instead of, you know, literally anything else. Romance is truly dead, and we developers are the ones who killed it with our inability to separate work trauma from human interaction. 💀

Content Language agnostic mf'ers when I put a gun on their heads and force them to write a project of theirs in assembly 86 (all of a sudden they are very picky about the language)