I Hate PHP (But I Love Money)

Content . 3 3G 12:42 73 0 1 Job details Salary 25,000 - 28,000 a year Job type Full-time Permanent Number of positions for this role 1 Full Job Description Junior Software Developer Office Based) - Laravel - PHP - JavaScript - MySQL - HTML5 - Vue.js - React.js - React Native Due to rapid growth, we're looking for a Junior Software Developer with assisting the development on our mobile and web based digital products, technical improvements, testing software and even building digital solutions from the ground up. Apply now the company ProdrammerHumor.io

Content Why someone would use as a first programming language: Python: For it's simple syntax Java: To learn basic computer science concepts C: See Java BASIC: They were in cryogenic storage since 1968 Bash: To make themselves feel productive Git: To actually, why would someone use Git as their FIRST language? HTML: To make themselves feel like a programmer CSS: To make themselves feel like a cooler programmer JavaScript: They have a really good idea for a website TypeScript: They have a REALLY good idea for a website Brainfuck: They want to gain new respect for Alan Turing C: Meth addict that needs the same speed from their language C: Cocaine addict that needs the same speed from their language Carbon: To get a head-start on the 10-year job requirement PHP: Masochism Fortran: Masochism but with a better paycheck Rust: Cult induction Microsoft Excel: To feel like a geek without being a programmer Game of Life: Ooh... pretty squares.

If programming languages were weapons of choice, this is what we'd all be carrying. C++ is basically that Swiss Army knife with 500 functions you'll never use but can't throw away. JavaScript? Those kitchen scissors that somehow cut everything except what you actually need them for. Python gets the chainsaw because it chops through problems with brute simplicity (until you hit a threading issue). Meanwhile, Assembly programmers are performing surgery with precision scalpels because they're controlling every single byte like the control freaks they are. And then there's Visual Basic... literally just a spoon. Not even a sharp spoon. The kind of tool you give to the intern who can't be trusted with anything dangerous. The real joke? We're all still getting paid to use these ridiculous tools to build things that somehow run the entire world. Sleep tight!

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Content Giulio Carrara 3rd Software Engineer 1d g Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS - nix system administration - Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer. That's an entire IT department. Yours truly 8,801 391 comments