When Your Enterprise Search Takes A Very Personal Turn

Content DECISIONS AND OUTCOMES One of the reasons porting games to Stadia was slow was Google's decision to program games in Linux instead of C, the language used by Sony and Microsoft. "If you wanted to make a game work on Google Stadia, you had to write it in Linux," says Pachter. "Let's sav it costs 5 million bucks. Why would you spend 5 million bucks writing a game for an audi- ence of two people?" As one of the world's wealthiest companies, Google paid or persuaded companies to overlook those costs. EA released Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order on Stadia in November 2020. Other heavy hitters, including Rockstar, Ubisoft, and Capcom, also pub- lished Stadia games. Google also opened in-house studios, hiring Electronic Arts' widely admired group general manager Jade Raymond to run its newly formed games and entertainment division. I was skeptical because I had seen things like that before. - ED FRIES, FORMER HEAD OF MICROSOFT STUDIOS AND A MEMBER OF THE IGDA FOUNDATION BOARD They made headed deci keep this on build Stadia - MICHAEL PACHTER, WEDBUSH SECURITIES ALL THE RIGH Having seen sever missed Stadia as de prised them with hired Phil Harriso played a key role it run Stadia. Harris star players such

Oh, the TRAUMA of modern OS interfaces! Look at that gorgeous Windows 7 start menu in all its organized, logical glory - before Microsoft decided we all needed to suffer through tiles, hidden menus, and updates that reorganize your entire digital existence without permission! Remember when you could actually FIND things without having to perform a sacred ritual and sacrifice your firstborn to Cortana? When settings weren't buried seventeen layers deep in a UI designed by someone who clearly hates humanity? Those transparent Aero effects were the PEAK of human achievement, and I will die on this hill! Modern Windows is just a dystopian hellscape where every feature you love disappears with each update. THE HORROR!

Content SAFELY ENDANGERED HEY IT'S-A THE JAVA BROS! Javal MAMA, WHY-A YOU NEVER REMEMBER MY NAME? I'M-A SORRY Microsoft Java ProarammerHumor.io

Content Gentlemen, it is with great pleasure to inform you that TODAY I HAPPILY RETURNED MY HIP MACBOOK AIR AND GOT BACK MY OLD WINDOWS DEVELOPER LAPTOP FROM IT DEPT.

BEHOLD THE CHART OF ABSOLUTE TRUTH! Windows 2000 isn't just taller than the other versions—it's in a completely different STRATOSPHERE! While Windows 7, 10, and 11 are barely visible specks of digital dust, Windows 2000 stands there like some kind of GODLIKE COLOSSUS towering over the OS landscape! Even Windows 98 is desperately trying to matter with its cute little bar. This chart is basically Microsoft saying "we peaked in 2000 and it's been downhill ever since!" The Y-axis doesn't even MATTER—Windows 2000 broke the chart, the laws of physics, and probably space-time itself. The rest are just participating for moral support!

DARLING, Microsoft is the DRAMA QUEEN of tech! They're over here bragging about REVOLUTIONARY quantum chips while simultaneously giving us THREE DIFFERENT VERSIONS of the SAME EMAIL APP all labeled "new"! 💀 It's like when you save your thesis as "Final_Essay_v2_FINAL_ACTUALLY_FINAL.docx" except Microsoft is doing it with their ENTIRE PRODUCT LINE! The cognitive dissonance is so powerful it could probably run those quantum computers they're bragging about!