Parallel processing Memes

The classic "it's not you, it's me" breakup line gets a multithreaded makeover! Our poor developer thought throwing mutexes and closing channels would fix their relationship problems, but they missed the fundamental truth of concurrent programming: no amount of locks can protect you from emotional deadlocks. Meanwhile, their partner is contemplating switching to the "Hawk TUAH" - which is either some obscure programming framework or proof that even in bed, developers are thinking about optimizing performance. Spoiler alert: neither mutexes nor Hawk TUAH will save this relationship from its fatal exception.

The grumpy face never changes, just the multitasking skills. Before kids: "This code is garbage!" After kids: "This code is garbage AND I haven't slept in 3 days!" The true parallel processing isn't in your fancy algorithms—it's coding with one hand while holding a baby with the other. Somehow both scenarios involve cleaning up messes and debugging mysterious errors that make no logical sense. The only difference? One of them eventually grows up and stops crying. The code never does.