Hiring process Memes

Posts tagged with Hiring process

Gotta Do It The Right Way
Programming Algorithms Testing
2 days ago 82.9K views 1 shares
Gotta Do It The Right Way
Normal people send a CV and get rejected in two simple steps. Software engineers, though? We prefer to make rejection an art form . First, submit that meticulously crafted CV. Then endure the HR interview where they ask why manhole covers are round. Next, survive the developer interrogation about your "passion for coding since the womb." Finally, tackle the technical interview where they ask you to reverse a binary tree on a whiteboard while standing on one foot. Because why get rejected quickly when you can stretch the inevitable disappointment across four increasingly soul-crushing stages? It's like we're skateboarding down the stairs of despair just to land in the same rejection puddle as everyone else. Peak efficiency!

The Ultimate Tech Job Cheat Code
Programming Webdev Frontend Backend
6 days ago 60.0K views 0 shares
The Ultimate Tech Job Cheat Code
BEHOLD! The tech industry's greatest cheat code! 🎮 You can spend YEARS perfecting your CV, collecting degrees like Pokémon cards, and building a portfolio so beautiful it would make Michelangelo weep... OR you can just know Dave from accounting who will slide your resume to the hiring manager while they're both microwaving fish in the break room. THE AUDACITY! The sheer INJUSTICE of watching someone with "a buddy that works at the company" absolutely DEMOLISH your meticulously crafted career preparation! Referrals are the tech industry's version of using a Game Genie while the rest of us are button-mashing through the application tracking system like PEASANTS! 💀

The Job Description Sounds Promising
Security Devops Programming
10 days ago 89.0K views 0 shares
The Job Description Sounds Promising
Ah, the classic bait-and-switch of tech job descriptions! Squidward's initial excitement at a promising job opportunity immediately deflates when he spots the deal-breaker: "ability to obtain a US government security clearance." For those in the tech world, this is the equivalent of finding out your dream date has a strict "must not have posted anything questionable online ever" policy. Between questionable forum posts, that one time you downloaded something sketchy, or that phase where you thought anarchist manifestos were cool reading material—most developers' internet history is basically a government background check's worst nightmare. The security clearance requirement is basically corporate-speak for "we need someone with the online purity of a newborn baby but the coding skills of a 40-year veteran."

Why Are You Not Playing By The Rules Of The Game
Programming Agile
13 days ago 61.4K views 0 shares
Why Are You Not Playing By The Rules Of The Game
The modern tech hiring process in a nutshell. Companies expect you to perform like a circus animal through endless assessments and interviews, then act shocked when talent goes elsewhere. Nothing triggers HR quite like a candidate who values their time and knows their worth. That blood-curdling scream is the sound of recruiters realizing they can't torture candidates with their six-week interview process anymore. Remember kids: companies that respect you from the start are usually the ones worth working for. The rest just want to see how much abuse you'll tolerate before you're even hired.

Double Standards In Tech Recruitment
AI Programming Testing
1 month ago 92.1K views 0 shares
Double Standards In Tech Recruitment
Tech companies: "Our revolutionary AI will transform your workflow and boost productivity!" *five minutes later* "How dare you use AI to solve our fizzbuzz test? That's cheating!" The corporate hypocrisy meter just broke. They want you to buy their AI products but heaven forbid you use them to bypass their archaic hiring rituals.

Glad To Hear You Never
Programming
1 month ago 68.0K views 0 shares
Glad To Hear You Never
That gleeful smile when your 15 years of coding experience, 3 GitHub repos with 1000+ stars, and custom-built compiler don't match their automated keyword filter looking for "5+ years experience in a framework released 2 years ago." Your resume never stood a chance against the mighty ATS that can't tell Python from a snake. But hey, at least they'll send you a rejection email in 6-8 business months!

Rejected In Less Than A Minute
Programming
1 month ago 75.6K views 0 shares
Rejected In Less Than A Minute
When your resume gets rejected faster than a PR with 500 merge conflicts. The timestamps don't lie - Accenture managed to both welcome and dump this poor developer in the same minute. That's efficiency you can't teach. Somewhere, a recruiter is getting promoted for optimizing the rejection pipeline to sub-60-second latency.