Hardcoding Memes

Posts tagged with Hardcoding

Landlubber Software: The IP Address Whitelisting Saga
Security Networking Programming Debugging
21 hours ago 103.0K views 0 shares
Landlubber Software: The IP Address Whitelisting Saga
Ah, the classic "let's hardcode every single IP address instead of using a regex or CIDR notation" approach. Nothing says "I learned to code from a cereal box" quite like writing 254 if statements when if (ipaddress.startsWith('1.1.1.')) { return 0; } would do the trick. This is the kind of code that makes senior devs develop eye twitches and sudden interests in early retirement.

Pirate Software Shows Off His Security Code
Security Networking Programming Debugging
13 days ago 251.7K views 2 shares
Pirate Software Shows Off His Security Code
OH. MY. GOD. Behold the PINNACLE of cybersecurity! 🏴‍☠️ This absolute GENIUS is manually checking EVERY SINGLE IP ADDRESS in the 1.1.1.x range because apparently, writing a regex or using a wildcard would be TOO MAINSTREAM. 💅 It's like watching someone bail out the Titanic with a teaspoon! What happens when hackers discover the revolutionary concept of 1.1.2.1? Will our pirate hero write another 256 if-statements? THE DRAMA! THE SUSPENSE! I can't even with this "security" code! 😭

Think Inside The Box
Programming Algorithms Python Debugging
22 days ago 68.8K views 1 shares
Think Inside The Box
OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this developer! 😱 Asked to create a complex spiral algorithm and instead just hardcoded the entire output as a visual grid?! This is the programming equivalent of being asked to cook a gourmet meal and just ordering takeout, arranging it on fancy plates, and yelling "VOILÀ!" 💅 The best part? IT WORKS. The person even thanked them! This is peak chaotic energy that would make any CS professor spontaneously combust. Work smarter not harder, honey! Sometimes the box IS the solution! 👑

The Magic Number Mastermind
Programming Debugging Testing
26 days ago 126.0K views 0 shares
The Magic Number Mastermind
The galaxy brain approach to coding: why bother with a handful of dynamic variables when you can create a magnificent constellation of magic numbers? Nothing says "I trust my future self" quite like hardcoding 50 constants instead of using meaningful variables that might actually explain what your code does. The real 200 IQ move is creating a codebase so rigid that when requirements change (and they always change), you get to play the exciting game of "find and replace across 47 files." Bonus points if you name them all var1 through var50 !

The Hardcoding Grandmaster's Gambit
Python Gamedev Algorithms Programming Debugging
27 days ago 137.8K views 0 shares
The Hardcoding Grandmaster's Gambit
The absolute AUDACITY of this developer printing an entire chess board for EACH POSSIBLE MOVE! 😱 Instead of creating a simple reusable function, this maniac is hard-coding 2.6 MILLION lines to handle every chess position! It's the programming equivalent of writing out every word in the dictionary instead of just looking it up! The poor soul who has to review this code will need therapy AND a new keyboard after smashing the current one into oblivion. Chess programming doesn't have to be your villain origin story, people!

Constant Time Solution
Python Gamedev Algorithms Programming Debugging
1 month ago 133.5K views 0 shares
Constant Time Solution
When your friend asks you to "just code a simple chess game," and you realize you need to handle every possible board state individually. That's 2.6 million lines of if-else statements because who needs algorithms when you can hardcode each move? The beautiful part is that technically it's an O(1) solution! Chess engines hate this one weird trick - just write out every possible game state and skip all that fancy minimax algorithm nonsense. Bonus: your git commits will make it look like you're the most productive developer in history. "Added support for knight moves - 400,000 lines changed."

Thinking Outside The Box
Programming Algorithms Python
1 month ago 152.6K views 0 shares
Thinking Outside The Box
The classic "write a loop vs. hardcode everything" dilemma, beautifully illustrated. Why waste time crafting an elegant algorithm with nested loops and incrementing variables when you can just... print each line manually? Sure, your CS professor would have an aneurysm, but the code works, doesn't it? This is the programming equivalent of using a hammer to kill a fly – unnecessarily direct but undeniably effective. Bonus points for the confidence it takes to submit this in an actual interview. That's not laziness – that's efficiency with a side of audacity.

The Pipeline Terrorist Has Been Identified
Devops Git Docker Programming Debugging
1 month ago 134.9K views 0 shares
The Pipeline Terrorist Has Been Identified
THE ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY OF OUR TIME! 🔥 Some developer thought it was a brilliant idea to hardcode their local desktop path into the CI/CD pipeline, and now the entire build is collapsing like my will to live on Monday mornings! Nothing says "I'm special" quite like using C:\Users\Dave\Desktop\project\ in production code. The rest of us are just sitting here, drowning in error messages, contemplating career changes while staring into the void. The betrayal! The audacity! I can literally feel my soul leaving my body with each failed build notification. And the worst part? We all know exactly who did it because WE'VE ALL DONE IT AT SOME POINT. 💀

I'm Not Mad I Just Want To Talk
Devops Git Programming Debugging Backend
1 month ago 113.4K views 0 shares
I'm Not Mad I Just Want To Talk
The classic "chess match with the dog" scenario we've all faced. Some junior dev just hard-coded environment variables directly into the build pipeline instead of using config files, and now your changes mysteriously vanish in production while everything passes in staging. That innocent face says it all – they have no idea they've created a deployment hellscape that'll take you three days and seven coffees to untangle. Meanwhile, they're getting praised for "making things work" while you contemplate a career in sheep farming.

You Don't Need Environment Variables
Security Webdev Devops Javascript Programming
2 months ago 105.2K views 0 shares
You Don't Need Environment Variables
The absolute madlad who hard-codes their API keys directly into the front-end JavaScript where anyone can see it with a quick inspect element. Security? What's that? Just a suggestion, like speed limits and code comments. Nothing says "I trust the internet" like broadcasting your AWS credentials to every single visitor. Next level: storing passwords in plaintext because "hashing is just extra work."

How Many Lines Of Code Is Your Existential Crisis?
Python Gamedev Algorithms Programming
2 months ago 101.9K views 0 shares
How Many Lines Of Code Is Your Existential Crisis?
Ah, the classic "I'll just hardcode a chess board" approach that spirals into madness. What starts as a simple "print the board" task quickly becomes an existential crisis when you realize you need to handle every possible move, check, checkmate, en passant, castling, and that weird pawn promotion thing. The perfect response of "2,605,200" lines is chef's kiss perfection. Not "a lot" or "too many" – but a precise, soul-crushing number that suggests they've actually counted their suffering. It's the programming equivalent of asking someone how they're doing and getting their entire medical history in response.

Sounds A Bit Simple
Programming Security Algorithms Javascript Python
2 months ago 137.2K views 0 shares
Sounds A Bit Simple
Ah, the duality of random number generation! The top panel shows the proper way—importing libraries like random , time , or os to generate proper pseudo-random numbers with good entropy. The bottom panel reveals the chaotic evil approach—hardcoding your "random" generator without external input, which is basically just saying return 4 because it was randomly chosen by fair dice roll. Guaranteed to be random! The twisted face in the second panel perfectly captures the deranged energy of a developer who thinks Math.floor(Math.random() * 6) + 1 is too much work and opts for const getRandomNumber = () => 4; instead. Cryptographers are screaming somewhere.