Hardcoding Memes

Posts tagged with Hardcoding

I'm Not Mad I Just Want To Talk
Devops Git Programming Debugging Backend
1 day ago 58.1K views 0 shares
I'm Not Mad I Just Want To Talk
The classic "chess match with the dog" scenario we've all faced. Some junior dev just hard-coded environment variables directly into the build pipeline instead of using config files, and now your changes mysteriously vanish in production while everything passes in staging. That innocent face says it all – they have no idea they've created a deployment hellscape that'll take you three days and seven coffees to untangle. Meanwhile, they're getting praised for "making things work" while you contemplate a career in sheep farming.

You Don't Need Environment Variables
Security Webdev Devops Javascript Programming
7 days ago 63.8K views 0 shares
You Don't Need Environment Variables
The absolute madlad who hard-codes their API keys directly into the front-end JavaScript where anyone can see it with a quick inspect element. Security? What's that? Just a suggestion, like speed limits and code comments. Nothing says "I trust the internet" like broadcasting your AWS credentials to every single visitor. Next level: storing passwords in plaintext because "hashing is just extra work."

How Many Lines Of Code Is Your Existential Crisis?
Python Gamedev Algorithms Programming
17 days ago 65.5K views 0 shares
How Many Lines Of Code Is Your Existential Crisis?
Ah, the classic "I'll just hardcode a chess board" approach that spirals into madness. What starts as a simple "print the board" task quickly becomes an existential crisis when you realize you need to handle every possible move, check, checkmate, en passant, castling, and that weird pawn promotion thing. The perfect response of "2,605,200" lines is chef's kiss perfection. Not "a lot" or "too many" – but a precise, soul-crushing number that suggests they've actually counted their suffering. It's the programming equivalent of asking someone how they're doing and getting their entire medical history in response.

Sounds A Bit Simple
Programming Security Algorithms Javascript Python
23 days ago 88.9K views 0 shares
Sounds A Bit Simple
Ah, the duality of random number generation! The top panel shows the proper way—importing libraries like random , time , or os to generate proper pseudo-random numbers with good entropy. The bottom panel reveals the chaotic evil approach—hardcoding your "random" generator without external input, which is basically just saying return 4 because it was randomly chosen by fair dice roll. Guaranteed to be random! The twisted face in the second panel perfectly captures the deranged energy of a developer who thinks Math.floor(Math.random() * 6) + 1 is too much work and opts for const getRandomNumber = () => 4; instead. Cryptographers are screaming somewhere.

The Art Of Strategic Hardcoding
C++ Algorithms Programming
1 month ago 75.5K views 0 shares
The Art Of Strategic Hardcoding
When the assignment asks for a pattern algorithm but you just hardcode each line instead. The beauty of this solution is its brutal efficiency - why waste time figuring out the mathematical relationship when you can just printf() your way to freedom? The student running from the teacher represents that brief moment of panic when you realize your laziness might actually get you in trouble. But hey, it works. The code compiles. Ship it.

Sounds A Bit Simple
Programming Security Python Debugging Testing
1 month ago 98.2K views 1 shares
Sounds A Bit Simple
Top panel: Normal human being using proper random modules like a functioning member of society. Bottom panel: The unhinged developer who thinks return 4 is a perfectly acceptable random number generator because "it was randomly chosen by me, so technically it's random." Somewhere in production, a critical system is running on hardcoded "randomness" and nobody has noticed yet.

URL Parameters: The Ultimate Security Protocol
Security Webdev Programming Frontend Backend
2 months ago 105.1K views 0 shares
URL Parameters: The Ultimate Security Protocol
Look at that URL parameter: isGina=false . Some developer really said "let's just hardcode user identity in the query string" and called it a day. Security through obscurity at its finest! Next time Gina forgets her password, she just needs to hack the URL to isGina=true and boom—instant access. Who needs authentication when you can just tell the system who you are? Somewhere a security engineer is having a panic attack while the intern who wrote this is proudly adding "implemented user authentication system" to their resume.

Whose Side Are You On: Algorithm Purists vs. Pragmatic Coders
C++ Algorithms Programming Debugging
2 months ago 97.0K views 0 shares
Whose Side Are You On: Algorithm Purists vs. Pragmatic Coders
Two types of C programmers in the wild. On the left, the algorithm purist who builds a nested loop monstrosity with variables like "i" and "j" because apparently naming variables is too mainstream. On the right, the pragmatist who just hardcodes the damn star pattern and goes home early. The left guy is still debugging his loop indices while the right guy is already enjoying his weekend. Sure, it's not "elegant" or "scalable," but it works and nobody's going to maintain this code anyway. Let's be honest, we've all been both of these people at different points in our careers.

Sounds A Bit Simple
Algorithms Math Programming Python
2 months ago 101.2K views 0 shares
Sounds A Bit Simple
Oh honey, you think importing libraries for random numbers is the sophisticated approach? *dramatic hair flip* Meanwhile, the ABSOLUTE PSYCHOPATHS who hardcode their own random number generators without ANY external input are lurking in the shadows, cackling maniacally! They're not just playing with fire - they're BATHING in gasoline while juggling flaming chainsaws! The sheer AUDACITY! The MADNESS! Writing your own pseudo-random algorithm is basically telling the universe "I don't trust your entropy, I'll make my own chaos, thank you very much!" It's the programming equivalent of refusing to use a map and instead just FEELING which way north is!

The Hardcoded Chess Nightmare
Python Gamedev Algorithms Programming
2 months ago 112.5K views 0 shares
The Hardcoded Chess Nightmare
When your friend discovers you're hardcoding an entire chess game by manually printing each board state for every possible move. 2.6 million lines of code instead of using a chess library or even basic loops? That's not programming, that's digital masochism. The real checkmate here isn't on the board—it's the developer's sanity. Somewhere, a computer science professor just felt a disturbance in the force and doesn't know why.

The Great Escape From Algorithm 101
C++ Algorithms Programming
2 months ago 102.1K views 0 shares
The Great Escape From Algorithm 101
The professor asked for a pattern program, and this student just hard-coded every single line with printf statements. No loops, no logic, just brute force printing. And now they're running away from the teacher because they know what's coming. It's the coding equivalent of answering "what's 5+7?" by saying "I memorized that it's 12" instead of explaining addition. Sure, it works... technically. But you've missed the entire point of the exercise and any self-respecting CS professor is going to hunt you down for this crime against algorithms.

It Won’T Get Any More Compact.
Python Algorithms Programming Debugging Testing
2 months ago 124.4K views 0 shares
It Won’T Get Any More Compact.
Oh my goodness, this is peak programmer laziness at its finest! 😂 Instead of writing a proper validation function that checks if a number is an integer, some poor soul decided to hardcode EVERY POSSIBLE DECIMAL VALUE around 17 and 18 with error messages! The only value that returns True is exactly 18 (no decimals). The irony is that writing a simple isinstance(x, int) would be like 1000x more compact than this monstrosity. This is what happens when you code at 3am after your fifth energy drink! The "It Won't Get Any More Compact" title is just *chef's kiss* sarcastic perfection!