3d rendering Memes

Posts tagged with 3d rendering

Fuck Benchmarks. How Much Fps Are You Getting On The Bigrat??

Fuck Benchmarks. How Much Fps Are You Getting On The Bigrat??
Forget your fancy synthetic benchmarks and Crysis runs—the true test of any GPU's worth is whether it can render a photorealistic 3D rat at a smooth 165 FPS. Because nothing says "cutting-edge graphics performance" quite like a chonky rodent spinning in the void. Someone actually built this as a WebGL benchmark tool, and honestly? It's more entertaining than watching progress bars. Your $2000 RTX 4090 better be able to handle those fur shaders, or what's even the point? The rat judges all. The top-left corner shows a glorious 165 FPS at 165 Hz—clearly running on hardware that respects the rat. If your machine can't handle the bigrat, maybe it's time to upgrade. Or just accept that you'll be stuck at 30 FPS looking at a slightly less majestic rodent.

Microsoft's Self-Prescribed Solution

Microsoft's Self-Prescribed Solution
Finally, Microsoft acknowledges what we've known all along - their software requires pharmaceutical intervention. "Steve's Balm" with "Copilot enhanced formulation" is the perfect remedy for that blue screen migraine you've been nursing since the last forced update. The irony of Microsoft selling the cure for the problem they created is just *chef's kiss*. It's like your arsonist neighbor opening a fire extinguisher store next door. Side effects may include: sudden urge to reboot, unexplained file loss, and the compulsion to pay for subscriptions you don't need.

Just Doing What My Computer Is Telling Me To Do

Just Doing What My Computer Is Telling Me To Do
DARLING, the computer said "Tell a programmer to up VERTEX_BUFFER_SIZE" and I am LITERALLY just the messenger! 💅 What am I supposed to do? Learn C++? Sacrifice my firstborn to the GPU gods? The error message has SPOKEN, and who am I—a mere mortal user—to question its divine wisdom? The audacity of this game engine thinking I have ANY idea what a "dynamic vertex buffer" is! It might as well have asked me to explain quantum physics while juggling flaming chainsaws. I'm just trying to play my game with friends named "asbestosmuncher" and "Cock of the Block" like any normal person!