When They Start Explaining The Command Line Before You Can Walk

The smile of a person who's finally emerged from the ninth circle of dependency hell. Installing NVIDIA drivers on Linux is basically digital self-flagellation—a rite of passage that separates the hobbyists from the masochists. You start with optimism, then spend six hours in terminal purgatory, break X server twice, contemplate switching careers to organic farming, and somehow end up with a working system through what can only be described as accidental witchcraft. The manic grin says it all: "I've stared into the abyss of modprobe errors and lived to tell the tale."

Content Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble" "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew . Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half- caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht l'm keeping those

Ah, sweet summer child with dreams of "enhancing" the Linux kernel with AI. Linus Torvalds is probably already typing a profanity-laden email explaining why your brilliant idea belongs in the same category as "adding blockchain to grep" or "making systemd even bigger." The Linux kernel maintainers have spent decades perfecting schedulers that can run everything from supercomputers to toasters. But sure, slap some AI on it! While you're at it, why not rewrite the whole thing in JavaScript? Those 9 replies are probably ranging from "please read the kernel documentation first" to "who let the intern on the mailing list again?"

Content YOU CAN'T SPY ON ME THROUGH MY WEBCAM Openin Mon Tot-Thur LINUX DRIVERS NOT WORKING

Content 10:45 al O Back Discussion details Advanced databases Looking for a lab partner 23 Mar 2022 at 10:03 Hey! I am an exchange student from EPFL in Switzerland. I speak english and french! I am ideally looking for someone who is down to work an an Copy Look Up Translate Share. PS: What is you favourite programming language (if you say javascript don't even reply)? Github or Dropbox? Whatsapp or Discord (oP Slack )? Reply ProdrammerHumor.io

Content You use the UPDATE command to fix one record 41,276,000 rows affected'