Why pay someone $200/hour to listen to your problems when you can spend $2000 on old server hardware to create your own EMOTIONAL DAMAGE?! 💀
The absolute DEDICATION of stacking five Dell servers in your basement just to run container orchestration that could probably run on a Raspberry Pi! But nooooo, we need the FULL ENTERPRISE EXPERIENCE at home because clearly our relationships weren't complicated enough already!
The electricity bill alone would fund a year of therapy, but who needs mental health when you have high availability and auto-scaling for your personal blog that gets three visitors a month?!