Do British Websites Use Biscuits?

Every designer creates these absolutely GORGEOUS mockups that look like they were blessed by the gods of aesthetics themselves—perfectly aligned, beautifully spaced, with colors that make your soul weep tears of joy. Then you, the poor developer, sit down to implement it and suddenly you're wrestling with CSS like it's a feral raccoon, margins are rebelling against you, that button refuses to center no matter HOW many Stack Overflow tabs you open, and somehow everything looks like it got hit by a truck made of misaligned divs. The gap between expectation and reality has never been more BRUTAL.

Behold the duality of the web! While the private sector is out here flexing with React, Vue, and whatever framework dropped last Tuesday, government websites are still rocking that sweet HTML 3.0 vibe with Times New Roman and blue hyperlinks you've already clicked. Nothing says "we take digital security seriously" like a website that looks like it was built when dial-up was considered high-speed and "cloud computing" meant checking the weather forecast. Yet somehow these ancient digital relics still manage to collect your taxes with 99.99% efficiency. Priorities, am I right?

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAUMA of every web developer captured on a utility pole! 😱 That sign is basically the battle cry of anyone who's ever had a client ask for a "simple website" and then proceed to unleash 47 revisions, demand e-commerce functionality, and expect you to be their on-call therapist at 2AM when they can't figure out how to update their own text. "$500. 7 DAYS." is the most DELUSIONAL fantasy in tech history! And that "I'm not your therapist" part? HONEY, truer words have never been plastered on public infrastructure! Every freelancer just felt that in their SOUL. The audacity of clients expecting emotional support with their WordPress login is the eighth deadly sin!

This meme is the perfect collision of action movies and web development! The pun plays on Jason Bourne (the Matt Damon character) and JSON (JavaScript Object Notation) - the data format that haunts every developer's dreams. The curly braces surrounding him are the perfect touch, like he's literally trapped in a JSON object. When your API returns unexpected data at 3 AM, this is exactly the face you make. The only thing more dangerous than a rogue assassin is a missing comma in your JSON structure. At least Jason Bourne can remember who he is after a while - your broken JSON parser never will.

Ah yes, the classic "I'm a computer programmer" resume padding. Notice how it's strategically placed at #5 on the career ladder, right between "Stock Room" and "Police Officer" – as if writing console.log("Hello World") once in a bootcamp somehow qualifies as a career milestone. The true programmer's path involves thousands of Stack Overflow visits and existential crises over semicolons, not a brief stopover between inventory management and law enforcement. This is the tech equivalent of claiming you're a chef because you once made toast.

Oh. My. God. The absolute DRAMA of JavaScript developers! 🙄 Instead of writing a simple function themselves, they'll drag in 47 BAJILLION npm packages like SpongeBob hauling that ridiculous mountain of presents! Why write 10 lines of code when you can install an entire ecosystem with 9,427 dependencies that'll break in six months? The shopping cart is literally SCREAMING under the weight of all those unnecessary packages! Meanwhile, the function they needed could've been written faster than it takes to type "npm install massive-overkill-package-for-simple-task"! It's the developer equivalent of buying an entire Home Depot to hang a single picture frame!