Do British Websites Use Biscuits?

When your dad catches you with red eyes and you try to blame it on weed, but he knows the real source of your suffering. Nothing induces tears quite like trying to debug why your JavaScript code works in Chrome but breaks in Firefox, or discovering that 0 == [] is somehow true but [] == [] is false. The emotional damage from JavaScript's type coercion and "features" has caused more developer trauma than any recreational substance ever could!

The infamous "sleep sort" algorithm—where your array gets sorted by setting timeouts based on each value. The smaller numbers wake up first, the bigger ones hit snooze longer. Technically it works (sort of), but try explaining this beauty in a coding interview and watch the interviewer's soul leave their body. "It's O(max(array)) time complexity, sir!" Absolute chaos masquerading as computer science. The perfect algorithm if your requirements include "must be completely unreliable" and "please never use in production."

Database sitting there like it's filling out TPS reports while Cache is handling a full press conference. Typical. The database is doing all the actual work storing your precious data, but Cache gets all the attention because it's faster at answering the same stupid questions over and over. Just like management - they'll ignore the reliable workhorse and praise the flashy middleman who just repeats what everyone already knows.

Shopify exec just casually ending the careers of countless "idea people" who've spent years perfecting the phrase "I'll get the devs to build that." Somewhere, a PM is frantically Googling "how to code hello world" while sweating through their Patagonia vest. The ultimate "put up or shut up" moment for those who've been drawing boxes on whiteboards and calling it "product vision."

Ah yes, the classic frontend vs backend dichotomy, perfectly illustrated by... children's socks. The frontend is all pristine and cheerful—everything neatly in its place with a friendly interface that makes stakeholders go "aww, how cute!" Meanwhile, the backend is where the real nightmare happens—frayed threads, exposed logic, and the haunted expression of code that's been patched together by 17 different developers over 5 years. The backend sock has seen things, man. Things you can't unsee. And yet somehow, it still manages to function just enough to keep the whole system from falling apart. Just don't look too closely at the implementation details.

The handshake of deception! Both AI artists and "vibe coders" have found their career shortcut—let the machines do the heavy lifting while you collect the praise. For the uninitiated, "vibe coders" are those developers who spend more time curating their aesthetic GitHub profiles and tweaking VS Code themes than writing actual code. They're the ones who post snippets they didn't write and drop terms like "neural architecture" in casual conversation despite just copy-pasting from ChatGPT. The modern tech equivalent of putting your name on the group project after contributing absolutely nothing. But hey, fake it till you make it, right? Just don't ask them to whiteboard anything without internet access.