When Your Calculator Has An Identity Crisis

Content A Disciple Flat UI Colc Dockerizin X Y S Docker: Re X ( a docker - C. X GitHub - a x dockerode dockerode Copy direc X 10.1.10.7:420 C Develop wi X corker - D. X C node.isrea X F Hidden Lak X 8 Flectro. X David Pretty colors and stuff The thing I am working on God Damnit! seem to have run into an issue Stack Overflow has failed me so Tam reading the documentationsource Official API Documentation Things must be getting bleak Probably looking for a dirty hack memory Sure re -emenie Console Sources 06 (app-node-panel ngcontent-cO class-"node-panel" id"odePanel" ghost-c1 ng-reflect-ng-style"object Object" ng-Veflect-data- package" object Object" ng-reflect-state"objec Object style"transition-duration: 0.25s; transition-timing-function: ease-in-out: opacity: 1: app-node-panel --bindings "ne-reflect-ne-if"; "false app-bottom-panelngcontent-c0 class, nghost-c3 ng-retlect-data-package" (obiect Obiect" ng-reflect- state"object Object .app-bottom-panel 1 ngcontent-c0 class fa fa-content-copy switch-context aria- hidden"true".) htmlta-events-cons-ready body div.wrapper !-- Styles Event Listeners DOM Breakpoint Properties Filter Filter Show all This is not my fault Anatomy of a developer's browser Friends and family that I am ignoring ProarammerHumor.io

Content anthraxlobster Free worldbuilding idea: Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all. "Are you fucking kidding me I worked in a reagrent shop for a few years I don't trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes." Yeah I was in the circle that made Alston's Divine Circle of Teleportation. There's some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It's way safer." "I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? 'Medium Conduit Ruinic Circles'? That's just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don't even interact with each other." "I've been looking at this scroll all morning and I'm 90 sure that the scribe didn't even look at the standard for pyromancies." digitaldiscipline "Help Desk, this is Gloriline, what did you fuck up this time?" indistinct vocals "Dave, l've seen the news, and, frankly, I can see the ash cloud from here. You paid for extended support, not enabling support." purewriting "I can't get this fucking spell to work, Jane, can you look it?" passes a scroll a few moments of silence "I think you missed a bookend rune right here-" "GODS DAMN IT! IT'S ALWAYS SHIT LIKE THAT! THANK YOU!" angrily scribbles on parchment (It takes five more aggravatingly tiny adjustments before the spell works) crazy-pages don't play wizards anymore because they're too much like my day job. drackir Instead of a orb the wizard has a little statue of a duck he tells his spells to and then swears when he spots the obvious mistake. beachfox You beat me to it! I was going to add that the reason why wizards and witches always have familiars around is so they can Rubber Duck at them until they realize what the mistake with their spell is! Outsiders get it wrong and figure the familiars are somehow teaching spells to their owners, but no. It's just explaining to Firewing what you're trying to do with this teleportation matrix until you realize that you've been using telepathy crystals to power it the whole time like a FUCKING IDIOT! 53,471 notes g ProdrammerHumor.io

Content HOW TO BUILD A HORSE WITH PROGRAMMING BY toggl Goon SquAd Ct YOU BUILT A HORSE IT'S UGLY AS HELL AND HAS LOTS OF DANGLING PARTS, BUT IT GETS THE JOB DONE JAVA YoU REALLY WANT TO BUILD A HORSE BUT FIRST YOU NEED TO BUILD A HORSE FACTORY JAVASCRIPT YoUR HORSE ARRIVED IN DIFFERNT PACKAGES YOU BUILT THE HORSE, BUT THE BACKBONE CAME OUT ANGULAR SO THE HORSE IS PARALYZED NoSQL YoU HAD A FAST BEAUTIFUL HORSe BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT IS COBOL YoU BUILT THe HORSE IN 1962 IT CAN ONLY BE TAMED BY THE ORIGINAL CREATOR. r BOR ALL OTHER PURPOSES IT'S A DRAGON. LISP YOU BUILT C THE HORSE WORKS BEST WHEN DRESSED IN A CAMEL COSTUME WHEN YOU TRY TO USE IT AS ANYTHING ELSE THAN A CAMEL, IT GETS A BIT FUSSY VU ASSEMBLY The HORSE TURNS OUT A LITTLE BASIC BUT BOY CAN IT RUN! PHP YOU BUILT A TROJAN HORSE IT RELEASES HUNDREDS OF TINY HORSES TO PUNISH El YoU EVERY DAY, ForEvER.

The conspiracy theorist's guide to programming languages. While everyone's worried about memory leaks, the real threat is corporate control. C remains the last bastion of freedom in a world where tech giants puppeteer our code. Rust? A Google puppet. JavaScript? FAANG's playground. Meanwhile, C sits there with its pointer arithmetic and segfaults saying "at least I'll let you shoot yourself in the foot with complete freedom ." The tinfoil hat comes with every compiler installation.

Content NODE MODULES MY CODE CODE FROM STACKOVERFLOW REDUX BOILERPLATE WEBPACK BABEL MY PROJECT What the hell is this?

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute DRAMA of being held at gunpoint and your only salvation is to frantically scream "Hello world" like it's some magical incantation! 💀 The soldiers are like "PROVE YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER OR DIE" and this poor soul's entire identity boils down to the ONE thing every programmer learns on day one. Not algorithms. Not data structures. Just the sacred "Hello world" print statement that's basically the secret handshake of our cult. Imagine your life hanging by the thread of a print statement. The AUDACITY! The HORROR! Yet so tragically accurate for our profession!