We Will Be Replaced By Nested Templates

Ah, the infamous "leftpad incident" – when the entire JavaScript ecosystem collapsed because someone got mad about a package name. 11 lines of code that could've been written by a junior dev in 5 minutes brought down Facebook, Netflix, and Spotify. Why? Because the modern web is basically a house of cards built on thousands of dependencies that nobody actually reads. This is why I drink. The most powerful companies in the world, with billions in market cap, were paralyzed because they couldn't figure out how to pad a string with spaces without importing a package. NPM: Need Package Madness. Where we'll happily import 700MB of node_modules to avoid writing a for loop.

Content X rAskReddit 3 people typing... Q What is something men don't think turns a women on, but actually does? Jeff. Silverblum 3h My girlfriend apparently finds me irresistible when watching me work (I'm a software dev so I'm not sure why). 5 Reply 4 2.8k S GuiltyDebt 8958 2h Oh yes! Show me your pointer! Run me all you want until you reach my breakpoint! Fill my buffer with your data!!! Access all my private members baby, without any capsulation! Push and pop me like a callstack in a recursive function!!! 1.6k

Left: a perfectly normal mango just sitting there, doing its static fruit thing. Right: a tropical bird with chaotic energy, ready to fly around screaming and crashing into windows at 3am. Yep, that's frontend development in a nutshell. HTML and CSS will happily render your static content, while JavaScript swoops in with event listeners, DOM manipulation, and 47 npm packages just to toggle a button.

Content JavaScript Teacher javascriptual When I worked at Google I saw this code: if (user.cookies.agreed) CollectData(user) else CollectData(user) 9:28 am 27 Jan 21 Twitter Web App 59 Retweets 33 Quote Tweets 201 Likes

Ah, the four-step career assassination tutorial! Nothing sends a frontend developer into existential crisis faster than watching someone test their "responsive" design by actually... *checks notes*... using different devices. The psychological warfare begins with showing off multiple devices, continues with the developer watching in horror as their beautiful creation morphs into an eldritch abomination across screens, and culminates with the coup de grâce: printing the monstrosity to immortalize their shame. Somewhere, a CSS media query is crying. Somewhere else, a Bootstrap developer is pouring another drink.

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