The Equality Crisis

Government agencies finally entering the digital age but making the worst possible tech choices? *Chef's kiss* Nothing says "we hired consultants from 2003" quite like rejecting clean, lightweight JSON in favor of bloated XML files that require a PhD to parse. The kind of decision that makes developers contemplate career changes to literally anything else. Fun fact: Some government systems still use COBOL, a language older than the moon landing. At this rate, they'll discover JSON around the same time we colonize Mars.

THE HORROR! You leave your API alone for FIVE MINUTES and return to find 1,525 posts about JSON?! The absolute TRAUMA of being a developer in 2023! Every time you check Twitter, there's another trending topic about data formats. Like, can we please just have ONE DAY without someone having an existential crisis over curly braces and key-value pairs?! The backend devs are screaming, the frontend devs are hyperventilating, and somewhere, an XML enthusiast is quietly sobbing in the corner.

Content lbaum oscherler Oct 30 JavaScript makes me want to flip the table and say "Fuck this shit", but I can never be sure what "this" refers to. RETWEETS 783 LIKES 662

The eternal web dev holy war, SpongeBob style! Patrick innocently asks if CSS is a programming language, only to be shut down by Squidward's technical pedantry that "it's a style sheet language." But Patrick, undeterred by such trivial distinctions, immediately follows up with "Isn't SQL a programming language?" — perfectly capturing how these debates never end. The real joke? The people who get most worked up about these classifications are usually the same ones who can't center a div without StackOverflow. Next up on Patrick's list: "Is HTML a programming language?" *Squidward has left the chat*

When debugging gets too intense, just rage quit! This magnificent error handling strategy shows the pinnacle of software engineering: a catch block that simply closes the window. No logs, no error messages, no problem! It's the digital equivalent of flipping the table and walking away. Why fix bugs when you can just make them disappear... along with your entire application? Pure genius for those who believe user experience is overrated.

Start 'em young, they said. Gotta love those job listings demanding a decade of experience with technologies that have only existed for five years. This baby's already behind schedule! Should've mastered React in the womb and deployed a blockchain solution during naptime. At this rate, the poor kid will only have 18 years of experience by 20 - clearly unemployable by industry standards. Next week: "Python for Fetuses" and "Docker Containerization Before You Can Walk."