Of Course JavaScript Makes Perfect Sense

Content 1 hr Why do we need a backend, why not just connect front end to database??? 6 comments Like Comment View 2 more comments Yeahl And why do we eat and go to the bathroom while we can throw the food directly in the toilet? Because stuff needs to get processed Like - Reply - 22m 0086

Ah yes, the "vibe coder" - stretching fingers, cracking neck, warming up those legs... all for the impossible task of "Make no mistakes." That's like telling a JavaScript developer their code will work on the first try. The physical preparation for absolute perfection is the most relatable programmer delusion ever. We all do this ridiculous pre-coding ritual like we're about to perform brain surgery, only to spend the next 4 hours debugging a missing semicolon.

Ah, the dependency economy strikes again! Nothing says "Make JavaScript Great Again" like slapping tariffs on all your package managers. 67% on NPM? That's how you end up with node_modules the size of Wyoming but still missing that one critical dependency. And Cargo at 90%? Rust developers about to start smuggling crates across the border. Meanwhile, Homebrew at just 14% is clearly the "very fine package manager on both sides." The only thing growing faster than these tariffs is your package-lock.json file.

Oh sweet coding gods, behold the miracle of modern software development! A tiny dog somehow balancing precariously on three bottles labeled with the holy trinity of self-taught programming: Stack Overflow, GitHub, and some JavaScript framework that changes every 3.5 seconds! This is LITERALLY every self-taught developer's career in one image - constantly on the verge of catastrophic collapse, yet somehow still standing through the divine intervention of copy-pasted code, documentation we pretend to read, and tutorials we watch at 2x speed. The only thing keeping us from being exposed as complete frauds is these three sacred pillars and the audacity to keep pushing to production anyway!

The evolution of a developer's naming conventions is a journey of madness. First, we start with the basic Sample.json - clean, simple, forgettable. Then we graduate to Customer_Request_Sample.json when we briefly remember documentation matters. But the final form? json.json - the naming equivalent of giving up completely while somehow making it worse. It's that special moment when you've stared at your code for so long that your brain has completely JSON-ified and you've lost all ability to create meaningful identifiers. The file extension IS the filename now. Checkmate, future me who needs to find this file!

Ah, Google circa 1999 - the innocent childhood photo before puberty hit and turned it into a data-hoarding monster with commitment issues. Look at that adorable promise: "a pure search engine — no weather, no news feed, no links to sponsors, no ads, no distractions." That aged about as well as my promise to only have one cookie from the jar. Now Google tracks you more closely than your ex on social media and has more ads than a Times Square billboard. The digital equivalent of "I'll just have one drink tonight" followed by waking up with a sponsored hangover.