Huge Crime No Excuse

Ah yes, the classic "I can build a website" phase we all went through. This building is literally half-finished—just like any "web application" built with HTML alone. Sure, it has structure, but no functionality whatsoever. It's the coding equivalent of bringing a spoon to a gunfight. The poor thing is just sitting there, static and lifeless, desperately waiting for someone to introduce it to CSS and JavaScript so it can become a real boy. Ten years later, that bootcamp graduate is still wondering why their form doesn't actually submit anything.

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The absolute state of modern debugging: pumping your body with enough stimulants to power a small city, just to stare blankly at console.log('test') for half a workday. The face says it all—that thousand-yard stare of a developer who's transcended normal human consciousness and entered the mythical "debugging trance." The irony? After all that chemical enhancement, the bug was probably just a typo in an entirely different file. Worth it.

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PH spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print '?xmi version"1.o" encoding"UTFg" 7'

The digital equivalent of psychological warfare! Using a broken image icon as your avatar and naming yourself "Jürgen [object Object]" is the QA tester's nuclear option. That special combination of Unicode characters, JavaScript object notation errors, and the universal broken image placeholder creates the perfect storm of edge cases. Somewhere, a frontend developer is staring at their screen, questioning their career choices and frantically adding input sanitization to their form validation. Pure chaotic evil in HTML form.

Content woW! HOW DID YOU GET LIKE THAT? EVERY TIME I do a pushup I DO ONE PUSH-UP. JESUS CHRIST. SHEN COMIX